Reply to Why do men assume their wife will become a SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Male biglaw partner here.  My wife is SAHM, it's fairly common for the male partners at the firm to have SAHMs.   Female partners are more likely to be divorced.

Women lose respect for their husbands when they stay home.  They may not say it out loud, they may not even want to feel that way.  Seems to be some type of jealousy/envy that the male partners have SAHM and can focus solely on work while women have to do a second shift at home.   That dynamic, more than any other I have seen, accounts for the wage and advancement gap and probably the divorce gap too.

Until women are willing to accept (and men can truly accomplish) the male SAH role, the gap will persist when kids come along.[/quote]

So if the women partners who are jealous because they work at the firm and then also have to get thing done at home, why can't men help at home?  Why is it mainly her responsibility to take care of this?  Your idea sets women up for failure:  it's your fault as a woman because you don't like men who help around the house and so the best solution is you women stay at home.  Why not find a middle ground where both of you can achieve to the best of your abilities and share EQUALLY the responsibilities at home?   This means compromises on both ends, not just the wife.  BTW, my husband has been amazing this way and so can speak from experience that it is possible to find the middle ground.

This type of attitude that's most responsible for why women are expected to become SAHM (women don't like men who compromise, women suffer when they are ambitious and have to take care of home/work).  If there is a divorce in the future, these same men will. be complaining about a SAHM who doesn't work and can't make a good salary and how she's a drain on their income. [/quote]

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