Reply to In what nuanced ways did you NOT realize you had white privilege?

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[quote=Anonymous]

Single Black person who lived and worked in Manhattan for 15 years. [/quote]

Um it's possible to live an exclusively white life in NYC NOW let alone in the 90s. I lived there from 2005-2015 in Manhattan. Worked in finance, lived in midtown. Not one single black friend from that time in my life. Where would I have met them? I worked 24-7 so the deepest friendships came from work not from hobbies or anything like that; and then there were some friends from college/b school that you'd hang with. No black friends from college/b school as there were minimal #s in both of my ivy schools and those that were there while nice ONLY ever hung out with each other unless they were forced to work on a group project with others; they'd never socially hang out or live outside their black group. In 10 yrs at work in NYC finance had exactly 3 black coworkers. Liked all of them but 1 was very quiet and kept to himself -- would almost never come out for drinks with us etc. and when he did he was politely distant; IDK if he felt uncomfortable or what but no one was gonna ask - hey are we being racist - bc we weren't; he ultimately left the firm after a 3-4 yr stint. The other 2 ended up dating and marrying each other so they ONLY ever wanted to hang out with each other to the point where they'd even sit together during dumb lunch meetings and it felt pretty clear they didn't want other around; they both also left within 5 yrs. Outside of that no blacks in the professional ranks -- not suggesting you couldn't be friends with secretaries but they all tended to be age 50+ so it wasn't the most obvious friend group when you were 25. Day to day the only blacks and hispanics you'd see would be the people working at Pret or Sbux.[/quote]

PP: You probably noticed the first sentence of my comment.   Of course it's possible.  I am Black.  I attended NYU and Yale.    I had white friends. I had black friends. I had Jewish friends. I had Christian friends. I had Hindu friends. I had Asian friends.  I had straight friends and gay friends. I had black friends who were immigrants.  I even had a few friends who worked in finance and many friends who are lawyers.  But none of this is what my comment is about.  My comment is about how media selectively represents diverse environments.  And I am inviting anyone who is interested to wonder why that might be.

As a more personal aside, I worked and studied and played hard when I lived in NYC.  Since you worked in finance, I'm guessing that you're not joking when you say that you worked 24/7. [b] I just want to say that the NYC that I lived in was vibrant and complex and wonderful and diverse in many ways -- and I hope that you got to enjoy it while you lived there. [/b]

[/quote]

Def liked living there but did not really "explore" it beyond the superficial ways. Sure there were lots of weekends spent wandering the neighborhoods and the street festivals etc. but the fact that I left there with 100% finance friends and not a single friend in say theater or media or whatever -- who undoubtedly would have brought a different viewpoint and level of diversity to my life -- makes me feel now that I didn't get 100% out of it when I lived there bc it was very much go to work, come home and crash, and keep making $$$$. I'm very glad I did it but I'd advise a junior banker moving there to do it a bit differently ESP if they know they don't want to stay forever and only have x years to get what they can out of the experience bc it really is an experience you can't replicate anywhere else in the US. I think mine is the NYC experience of a lot of people (not all) in finance, biglaw etc. -- it is so much about work and $$ that you ignore how awesome an experience it is to be able to live there whether for 2 yrs or 10 yrs.[/quote]

I'm glad that you got to enjoy some of it!  And Your NYC experience was very different from mine.  I got my doctorate at NYU -- so many of my friends were academics and students -  from law school and med school to architecture and even museum studies.  I lived in the Village, in Chelsea, and on the UWS -- so while I was surrounded by academics, I also had writers and an artist among my many roommates over the years, and, both in these neighborhoods and at jobs. met people from a wide variety of backgrounds.  I have a close friend in finance -- and I got a tiny taste of life on that scale too.  I think what I treasure about my NYC years is how very much at home I felt there, and how everyone I met gave me a deeper sense of what the world is like beyond my own personal experiences.  I really miss living there!  Thanks much for sharing your experiences. [/quote]

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