Reply to Anyone completely blind sided by a cheating spouse ?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] 
Sorry I’m not buying it. And the fact you were preoccupied with your father says a lot. I’m sure there was a lot more going on than you even noticed because of this.  There’s noway your DH was carrying  on an affair only on Fridays!!  I guarantee if I was his spouse his ass would’ve been caught a long time ago.  [b]FBI agent here  and I’ve caught everyone I’ve ever dated with all kinds of spy gadgets. It’s not that hard once you get that feeling. [/b]  FYI the only women that are ok with an afternoon romp are prostitutes.  Just saying. [/quote]

[b]So very arrogant...   :lol:

You really shouldn't be bragging that EVERYONE you've ever dated has cheated on you, as that sounds like a YOU problem.  [/b]

[/quote]

This ×1000
You're a little too high on your horse for someone who's been cheated on by every single person she's ever dated.
What a weird thing to be proud of.  :hunf:

Btw, you sound ridiculous being this sanctimonious towards those who have been cheated on, especially when (according to you) you yourself have been cheated on many, many times. Have a little empathy.

Thus, you'll have to excuse me if you're not the relationship virtuoso I'd choose to take advice from.

OP, I'm so very sorry you're hurting right now, I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better for you. 
Please know that this too shall pass.

Also... if nothing else, please remember that this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him/her.

It's not your fault, you did nothing to cause this.

In the days and weeks ahead you'll begin to analyze (and over analyze) becoming hyper focused on your entire relationship to date, in an attempt to figure out exactly how this could have happened to you.

During this time of introspection, most folks who have been cheated on will commonly construct an argument to justify your partner's actions by blaming yourself.  We do this because we're naturally trying to rationalize what your partner has done and deduce some shred or semblance of logic to it.

Please do [u]not[/u] do this.  
Do [u]not[/u] blame yourself.

Your partner is an adult.
They make their own choices.
They have free will.  
If they were unhappy, they could have left the relationship before beginning a new one. 
This is [u]all[/u] on them.

Hugs to you. [/quote]

Thank you.  As more comes out the extent of betrayal is much worse than I thought.  And speaks to his narcissism and ability to lie so frequently and with such ease.  The risks he took our unfathomable.

I scrolled through our photos from the 3 years he was doing this and we all look so happy as a family.  He looks happy with me. I had great times.  I cannot believe he was also screwing somebody else and coming home and there is no way we would have known.

Of course it makes me question every single thing.

I would have done anything to spare my kids from divorce, but this is so huge and so big.

I can’t sleep at night.  I hyperventilate.  [/quote]

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