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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=soexcited123]But why do you guys feel weird about talking to your family in front of your own spouse? Again it's about being transparent in a relationship. If my husband told his family things he couldn't tell me that would be [b]odd[/b]. To address the answer some people gave such as the other party not beinf aware other people can hear if someone is married I assume they are probably in the same room so I act accordingly. Not to mention if im married [b]we are all family why would my in laws tells my husband something and expect him not to tell me?[/b] A little odd. When my dad's mom called growing up he never left the room because there weren't secrets and my mom spoke to her mil also. Shouldn't the husband be including his wife in his conversations with his mom after all its her family now too.
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It would not be odd, it would be completely normal.  You sound really merged with your husband in an unhealthy way.  Please remind yourself that he is and will forever remain a physically and mentally separate person from you.

No you are not all family.  Your husband is certainly family to his parents in a way that you aren't.  Accept it.  He is also not family to your parents in a way that you are.

No, the husband should not be including his wife in his conversations with his mom.  He can if he wants to, in conversations of his choosing.  Again, he has and will always have a separate relationship with his mother, to which you are not a party. [/quote]

But like what would they talk about that is so secret he couldn't tell his own wife? I have yet to see specific examples. If he is telling his mom about HIS personal issues and not telling me that's a boundary issue and a comminication issue like why would he tell her over me. If anything his issues effect me a lot more since he lives with me im with him everyday and we are married. Yes legally in laws do become family once married. [/quote]

You don't need specific examples. I mean if someone gave you examples, all you'd do is argue.

He can talk to his mother as much as he likes and about whatever he likes. It's not a boundary issue, a boundary issue is you trying to get in the middle of mother and son. [/quote]

I disagree so a son should talk to his mother 5x a day or when he is spending quality time with his wife and you wouldn't describe that as a boundary issue? There is such a thing as cutting the cord. Nope I also disagree not aboht whatever he wants because if he is talking about our marital issues that is about me so therefore I do have a say what he discusses involving our marriage. Yes again how is it not a boundary issue when mil is specificity telling my DH to exclude me from family dinners 2x a month? You really think it's acceptable for DH to oblige to this request of his mothers and put her first and say to me his wife sorry hunny I'm going to go have dinner with my actual family 2x a month and you're never invited?

You honestly don't see at all where there is lack of boundaries with my MIL. You read on here all the time that there needs to be boundaries with MILs and its important for the husband to put his wife first. But nope not in this thread. Its perfectly acceptable for mom to call 50x a day and to exclude his wife on a consistent basis and I just have to accept it because his mom doesn't have any boundary issues just me. Maybe I should head over to DWIL message board because here we just promote momma boy behavior.[/quote]

Also i forgot to add you mention im coming between a mother and a son well what about his mom coming between her son and his wife? By excluding me isn't she doing just that?[/quote]

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