Reply to Eldercare is tearing my family apart

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The elderly person is NOT a toddler.  They are an old person in the process of losing their independence because their minds and bodies are getting old and not working the way that they used to. . . .[/quote]

If you are referring to my post directly before, I never said the elderly person WAS a toddler.  I said they can develop a personality similar to a toodler's.  It is more of a challenge because they often also feel they should still be the authoritian as the parent.  It does help to put things in situations we are familiar with.  Every parent understands a toddler's personality, but adult children new to dealing with changes in their parent's personality dont have a reference for it.[/quote]

Nothing like it. [/quote]

I am a different poster but agree they become like toddlers Because they often become "Self-centered, self-absorbed, impatient, jealous, manipulative. . .But it is worse because they think of you as the child who needs to be parented by them."

We saw the nightmare aging on place was with an elderly neighbor. Her son and daughter became resentful slaves. When my father passed away my mother after a three day hospital stay for a fall developed hospital induced psychosis. . My brother and I first tried paying someone to stay with her at home but she needed more and more help. t My brother tried having her stay with him and Intried but we both work so she was alone all day and wouldn't eat. She needed to be menatally and physically active during the day. I then told her they give free lunches at independent living places. We visited 5 of them that had combination independent/assisted living so she wouldn't have to move as she needed more help. She was adamant she wouldn't live in one before visiting them. Most places give tours and then you get a free meal. One didn't but I was able to pay for our meals without telling her. She only agreed to go for the free meal. She liked one and after visiting again for a meal and bingo, she agreed to move. She is mentally and physically so much better. She does activities, goes on field trips, they have a shuttle to take them shopping, she eats well because the meals are restaurant style where there are several choices each meal.

My brother and I both had to give up any idea of an inheritance and so did my mom, which we gladly did. Right now she pays 5,000 a month all included - meals, activities, and her 1 bedroom apartment. 
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