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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I could have written this myself. In a similar situation, although my desire for her sexually is pretty low, so I do not feel like our lack of sex is solely or even mostly her fault. My DW works a high stress job and manages the kids lives mostly, while I am more of an “employee” in the relationship of sorts in that area. I also work a lot but less aggressive and largely take care of everything else, but I’m not a A type and not a task master or detail freak, so my contributions are never good enough.

I struggled for 5 years in this state of minimal sex/ physical contact intimacy to the point where I replaced that intimacy w/ porn. Last year I finally caved and shamelessly did cheat by getting 2 erotic massages (happy ending). I stopped due to guilt and once I did more research on the industry and the potential for human trafficking. No desire for an emotional affair b/c I would rather keep that energy for my wife, who is a good friend and person overall.

I agree w/ many on here that divorce is probably the best route if you and your spouse don’t aggressively pursue counseling. We tried counseling and have stopped b/c things haven’t changed too much. And I don’t think we want to. DW recently admitted that she only around for the kids so I’m right on the door step of filing papers soon, something I would have never imagined a few years ago. I’m scared b/c divorce would be devastating for me [b](for typical reasons why men feel it worse)[/b] and the kids. But I agree w/ others on here that it’s better than being dishonest and living in what amounts to a prison marriage.

My 30 cents. My thoughts are with you and Good luck OP.

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I am interested in your perspective on the bolded.[/quote]

Nothing else he’s said is remotely typical for a male, so I’m not optimistic that any men will agree with his bolded perspective either.[/quote]

Whatever. There is a bit of research that aims to explain this.  OP isn’t immune to these https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201412/why-breakups-are-actually-tougher-men%3famp
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