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[quote=Anonymous]NP here.

OP, I'm a SAHM mom of two kids who are teens now.  I did not have enough help and I'm sympathetic to your situation.  IMO a Dad (who works outside the home) is not enough help.

1) If you need a C-section, yes hire someone.  This is because it's major surgery with major incision, and no one gets that because everyone's distracted with the baby.   Your toddler will want you to pick him/her up.  All the time.  At one point I started to bleed and I know I've ripped some muscle or something because I'm weirdly crooked on one side now.

2) The best advice I ever received is to get a housekeeper, not a nanny.  Then you can attend to your kids.  I got that advice too late but here you go, in timely fashion!

3) If you cosleep with your infant you will not be 1/2 as tired.  Don't put the baby in another room.  Lots of research on this--if the baby is with you, they root and then nurse and it's over; nobody really wakes up.  But in another room, they root, then get upset, and by the time you hear them they are in full wail mode and cannot settle back down, and your adrenaline is going and you are both totally awake.  Horrible over time.

4) I think you should hire 24/7 for the first week or two.  By then, you'll have the hang of it and will know what you need.

Personally, after that, I don't think you need a lot of help, if you have a housekeeper.

But babies were never meant to be solely with their moms; they were to be passed around to grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends, other moms, etc.  Moms need adult interaction and breaks; not to go solo just until dad comes home.  It's not a good set up.  So I think your instincts are right, but you may be going into overkill so I can see why your DH would balk.   [/quote]

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