Reply to How do resolve - husband I disagree over childcare

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[quote=Anonymous]You should put your older kid in preschool or daycare now and leave them in when the baby comes.  It's not possible for you to keep your older child's routine as-is without completely neglecting your infant.  Things are going to change, so why not take this opportunity to help your older child transition into a new phase of life.  It's good for your kid to be with other kids and to bond with other caregivers.  We have the means for whatever arrangement we want (HHI same as yours, though we both WOH) yet remain a committed daycare family because our kids thrive in a social environment, including our decidedly more reserved second child.

If your older kid is out of the house for a good part of the day, it will be significantly easier to manage both when they are both home, so you may find that you don't really need the extra daytime help.

The night nurse thing is so personal.  Some people cannot function without good sleep, and if you're one of those then a night nurse makes sense.  For me, I was never even able to give feedings over to my husband because I couldn't sleep when the baby was awake.  I just couldn't.  I still can't and my kids are 2 and 5.  I managed by continuing to sleep in cycles with the baby until I got enough rest to be functional.  This was possible with #2 because my husband took the toddler to daycare in the morning so at most I would get up and help her get dressed and out the door before going back to bed.  Sounds like a night nurse worked for you with #1 so I don't see why your DH would give you a hard time about getting at least the same amount of help with your second as you had the first time.

I'm expecting #3 now and plan to keep my (then) 3 yo in daycare during my leave.  My (then) 6 yo will be on summer break and I may keep her home for stretches, but I will definitely have her in some camps and activities so neither of us loses our minds.  Good luck with whatever you do OP.  I hope your little boy is an easy chill baby like my second was.  Though if he is, you might find yourself in my situation in a few years...  [/quote]

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