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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You will be the booty call of lots of a$$holes you will find online.  You will certainly catch HPV.

You will not get married again, unless you find a man in the same situation as you.  Your next spouse will probably be 15 years older than you or more.

You will be doing the childcaring on your own. Your kids will get messed up and need therapy. Your DH will move on and have a new family.

Your HHI will be impacted.  It is rough out there.  [/quote]

PP here. I got HPV from my husband. 50% of women get it by age 50. Not a big deal. 
Who cares about getting remarried? Never again. 
50/50 custody—I will be doing less childcare, actually 
Kids will not need therapy. They will be fine. Their life will not change that much. 
(I am messed up from parents who stayed married in a terrible marriage.)
DH is done with kids. Unlikely to remarry ever: but if he does, I am ok with it. He will get a prenup to protect kids’ assets. 
Who cares about HHI? Yes, it will be less. But I am 40% of the wealth. My quality of life will decrease. It is worth the emotional cost of staying in a marriage wasting more years that will ultimately end in divorce anyway.

You are making huge assumptions about divorce that are not universally true.[/quote]

I am seriously worried for your children. Your cavalier "their life will not change that much, therefore they will be fine" attitude is horrifying.[/quote]

My mother was severely mentally ill—that is absolutely no comparison and they will have a much easier time growing up regardless of a divorce or not compared to the hell that I went through.  They are going to be just fine . Better off than I ever was in almost every way possible. People can be committed coparent without being married; other people do in other countries all the time.[/quote]

Well, PP, with all due respect, I have to say this explains a lot. I truly hope that you have been in serious therapy yourself -- growing up with a mentally ill mother is one of the most cruel fates I can imagine. And again, with complete respect and I mean this kindly, I'm afraid that some of your comments here show how it has impacted your own emotional state and relationship with your kids.

I wish you much peace and I hope that you all get the support you need.[/quote]

My relationship with my kids is just fine as is my husbands relationship with our kids. They really will be OK I’m really tired of people acting like divorce has to be this big disaster.  As much as you divorce fear mongers don’t wanted minute there is such a thing as amicable divorce.  People can be committed and good coparents.  Just the institution of marriage  does not mean that is the only way to do it when the relationship is not working at all and will never improve  and when a divorce is inevitable.  I’ve seen many people who has had divorced parents who turned out just fine and in fact many of them turned out better than people whose parents stayed married and miserable marriages.  it’s the parents— not the divorce itselfZ[/quote]

AMEN

My ex and I attend every party, shower, wedding, etc together....with our new spouses.  No one is angry.  It doesn’t have to be a huge mess.  Our kids are happy and include everyone.[/quote]
You don’t really know how “happy” everyone is. You can speak only for yourself.[/quote]

I do know.  We’ve had very honest conversations since day 1.[/quote]

No, you don't know. Kids tell you what they think you want to hear, not necessarily the truth. They'll tell therapists things they'll never tell you.[/quote]

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