Reply to Pregnant with non-boyfriend - he wants me to keep it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, abortion doesn’t solve all problems either. A friend of mine had an abortion and after that ended up with clinical depression and a lot of ‘what ifs’.  An other one got very embarrassed when years later one of her older kids found out about the ‘missing sibling’. It is not an easy choice. Plus probably the OP will split up with the guy anyway after abortion since this is going to be a deal breaker for him. [/quote]

Anecdotes are not persuasive. There are many people who've felt relief after an abortion in a complicated situation. [/quote]
Depression after abortion is not that rare and can be a pretty serious complication 
https://americanpregnancy.org/unplanned-pregnancy/abortion-emotional-effects/[/quote]

Just because these words are written on a random website doesn't make them true. If you want to make a claim like this, please link to an actual study in a peer-reviewed journal. [/quote]
Here a very recent one on a very large sample of women but there are many more articles, just do a quick search with PubMed
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/30921593/?i=4&from=depression%20abortion[/quote]

Guess I'm just another anecdote but I pray to whatever higher being exists that my daughters never have to go through an abortion. The odds probably aren't in their favor, as I suspect rates are higher than reported. I'm pro-choice to the core, but I'm not sure I would survive another abortion after I had one at 28 (pre-kids). It took me a year to mostly recover mentally. Not sure I've ever 100% recovered.

But for others it IS the right choice and they don't regret it. I already had depression issues so for me it just triggered a long, major episode. Others are different. OP if you can't wrap your mind around another child, you don't have to. The idea of money is enticing but is it enough?[/quote]

Sorry to add to the derail, but I had an abortion in my late teens and became consumed with guilt, dropped out of school, and was suicidal. I engaged in myriad self-destructive behaviors for years following and have never forgiven myself, despite lots of therapy/prayer/etc. I was (and still am) pro-choice, but abortion is a serious decision with lasting consequences.[/quote]

I had an abortion at 20. I went on to finish college, attend graduate school and meet the love of my life. We lived on both coasts and a stint in the Midwest before moving to DC and starting a family.

My children are beautiful. My husband is a wonderful human being who can still make me laugh and brighten my day. I rarely think about that day over 15 years ago, but when I do, I feel nothing but relief. The guy I was dating at 20 was so wrong for me in many ways. After my children were born and babies were no longer a theoretical decision, I felt even more secure that I had made the right choice. It is hard to raise children. Period. It’s hard even when you’re ready and you’re married to the person you love and you’re both financially and emotionally stable.

Having a child at 20 with a guy I was about to break up with, before graduating, before having a job would have been disastrous. There are no words for how relieved I feel not to be trapped in that life. I was incredibly lucky that when I needed it, healthcare for women was still legal. [/quote]

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