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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OMG everyone needs to lay off PP and acting like she must immobilize and force-feed her child cheeseburgers or else.  I am pretty attuned to people's writing styles that suggest they are pushing their eating issues onto their kids, and I see nothing at all of that in OP's statements.  All I see is that she  has rather disjointed care at Children's, without being given a good sense of plan A and plan B, and when this becomes a medical crisis that would necessitate a feeding tube.  (Which - is not surprising about Childrens.  Over on the special needs board you can talk to MANY parents who deal with issues at Childrens with coordination of care and administrative issues.)

The thing OP should do is beat down the DOCTOR'S door to figure out why things are so serious as to have the feeding tube on the table.  OP's original question was borne out of the confusion of the mixed messages she's getting from her DD's team. On the one hand -- keep going and come back in 3 months!  On the other hand -- we may have to do a feeding tube!  Those two things don't really match up.

If I were OP I'd also get a second opinion with respect to the eating disorder, at CHOP or in Boston or wherever the #1 eating disorder place is.  [/quote]

This is OP and thank you. I appreciate your assessment and defense. But I also understand why others are questioning my own behavior. I've questioned it too. We are never far removed from ourselves. I am a professional dancer with all that goes with it. I am controlling, exacting, perfectionist, health conscious, driven. I have tried very hard to model healthy behavior and to never expect DD to conform to some standard of perfection. I am aware of my power over DD and try to be more gentle with DD than I was with myself in my younger days. More importantly, I try to be more forgiving and gentle on myself now because that's modeling positive behavior too. I threw away my scale when DD was born. We never talk about good foods or bad foods. We don't talk about weight or fat but about health and strength. I have a lifetime of experience with nutrition for a grown active woman, but feeding a growing child is not my strength, clearly. Sometimes I feel like an idiot that what seems to come naturally for so many, doesn't for us. But I am learning.

I agree our care has been disjointed. For 10 years, DD's pediatrician said not to worry, she will eat when she's hungry. My family told me I was crazy to worry so much. Her endos at NIH concluded her growth delay is multi-factoral (constitutional and nutritional). Only the latter requires intervention. Her GI doc, who is one of the best according to many posters on this board, ruled out underlying illness and referred us to the nutritionist and psychologist, whom he trusts and consults regularly. They developed a hands-off plan that didn't work. The feeding tube suggestion, coupled with a wait-and-see approach, sent a mixed and confusing message. But we are trying something new now.[/quote]

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