Reply to Custody Issue - Pendente Lite VS. Divorce Decree

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a dad, I simply refuse to believe there are dads out there (in the DC area) that don't do the practices, games, PTCs,  field trips, camping trips etc.

I can't recall more than maybe one or two absent dads that weren't deployed. And I have 3 kids that are 14,13, and 9. What's that? Thirty six years of parenting.

This is as false narrative being pushed by angry women.[/quote]

So my DH is at a lot of the events but I'm the one who researched the activities, signed kid up, figured out how we'd get him to practices, made sure he had clean clothes for practice packed when we left that morning, that his uniform is ready for games, was on top of when practice was rained out and how we would get him home those days, when games were and that we were at the field on time, when we were supposed to bring the snacks and that we bought food for it and it was packed to go etc

So no, while my husband is spending the same 70minutes standing on the side of the field as I am, he does not get the same credit for for doing the last tiny bit of the effort involved - especially when its the fun part where we are basically socializing with friends - when I did all the work to make it happen x every aspect of our lives

Yes we both work full time[/quote]

+1.

[u]Things I do to make soccer happen for my kids:[/u]
Keep track of emails from the soccer league so I know when registration is happening
Register kids for each season
Make sure their cleats and shin guards still fit and are in good condition, and buy new ones as needed
Make sure one kid's sport glasses get updated lenses as needed
Launder all practice gear/uniform components after practices and games so they're ready for next time
Help kids find missing gear as needed
Fill water bottles for practices and games and wash water bottles after use
Enter all practices and games into the family calendar
Keep track of any scheduling conflicts and arrange carpools as needed (as well as coordinating carpools with others who email me in a bind)
Make sure whomever is driving a kid to a game knows which field they're playing on
Monitor weather and whether practices/games are cancelled due to field conditions
Keep track of rescheduled games
Drive kids to and from some practices and games

[u]Things my husband does to make soccer happen for my kids:[/u]
Drive kids to and from some practices and games
Read my emails to him letting him know which field he's supposed to take them to

He's not a bad dad or husband, but I would roll my eyes hard if he ever said he did half the work for soccer practices just because he takes them to half the practices/games. Fortunately he doesn't say stupid shit like that because he actually is a good dad and husband.[/quote]

You sound really petty.  [/quote]

That plus putting great value in small tasks and also unnecessarily inefficient.

My kids know they are responsible for their soccer gear (I'll launder) as well as getting their water bottle ready for games (they are 7 and 9).  If they can't find a shin guard, I'll find it.   If the kids need new shoes, I'll determine if they can last the season (they usually do) and buy new shoes once a year.  I'll take the 5 mins to register them for soccer.  I'll take the 2 mins it takes to find out what time and field their games are at.  Take the minimal coordination it requires to arrange for transportation if I can't drive myself to pick them up/take them to practice.  Again, if you plan well for certain things, none of this kind of stuff should be difficult at all.

DH here, btw.[/quote]

So you're posting here to make sure you get credit for it, but it's petty when a female pp does it? That's a nice double standard.[/quote]

Exactly the wrong way of looking at it.  Posted to show that it's not a BFD to do all those things that PP describes in a previous post as things she does that require soooo much time and energy.[/quote]

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