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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I went to Catholic school all my life, and I vividly remember my third grade teacher's lessons about different religions.  Yeah, she favored Judaism over others because they are "God's special people", but we learned all about Hanukkah, and played with dreidels and sung the song.  We learned about the menorah, and listened to a story about Jewish children lighting the candles each night.  And then I demanded that my parents get a menorah because I wanted to light the candles, too, just like in the book.  My parents got one and we learned about it, and it was in the same room as the Christmas tree.

It was fine.  It didn't confuse me.  I understood that Jesus was Jewish (of the House of David, and that's why we had a Star of David ornament on the tree), and that Judaism was a religion. It made me a more open-minded person because I saw that my parents and teachers treated other religions with respect and didn't forbid me from learning about them.

So my advice is to just get the tree.  Then, teach your child the significance of the tree to Christians, and explain your religion's stance.  You can teach your child that you are Jewish and explain your religion's teachings, but also teach what other people believe, and have fun learning about their traditions, too.

You could get some books about the winter holidays of various religions while you are at it.  Christmas, Diwali, Eid, Kwanzaa, etc.  And do some little crafts as you explore each one.  This won't make your kid less Jewish, but will make her a tolerant, respectful global citizen.

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I'm sorry, but it's not the same. The sentiment and your experiences are lovely, but when you are the minority religion -- like the minority anything -- it is a constant struggle to maintain your distinctiveness in the face of majority culture. I am Jewish and have an almost 5 year old who goes to a multicultural preschool. We have never once in our house initiated any discussion of Santa or Jesus or Christmas. Yet last year he came home asking about Christmas trees and Santa and why don't we have Christmas lights. Almost nothing would be needed for him to absorb Christmas in a cultural fashion, even if not religious. But for us to inculcate our beliefs and traditions takes serious work. Deliberately bringing Christmas traditions into our house would interfere with that. So we talk about how nice it is that everyone has different traditions and beliefs, and he can admire his friends' lights and trees, but I can't countenance a Christmas tree in my house.

For most Jews it's not as simple as picking and choosing. We have our traditions and they exclude Christian traditions, almost by definition. One can admire and respect other beliefs, but dual practice is not tenable. It's like suggesting to parents who are trying to teach their mother tongue that they just use English and the mother tongue at home and let the kid choose when he's old enough. In that scenario, nearly every time, the kid will default to English because that is the dominant language. Although it may be harder, the parents need to do their best to lay the ground work and be strict with the foreign language at home, or the kid won't be proficient as an adult.[/quote]
I get what you're saying, but your analogy with learniya first language, and first language attrition is incorrect. A person can loose their language regardless of whether the parents speak it.
A fluent 4 year old can become a bilingual 6 year old. Learning a new language requires a lot from a child, so I would not just say they learn fast. Because of the relative plasticity of the brain, the new language can come at a cost to the first. Language is a two way street, first language affects the new, and the new starts to affect the first. Nobody is actually fully bilingual, there will always be one dominant language, shifts in which language is dominant is natural[/quote]

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