Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can’t believe so many people are calling this bullying. This is why a lot of people don’t even take the term seriously anymore.

Look, kids do stupid sh*t. They do pranks. I’ve pranked people and I’ve been pranked. At their age they really don’t necessarily understand how a spur of the moment dreamed up joke-prank could be really hurtful but it’s not bullying. They aren’t thinking of the future feelings your daughter would feel. Teens don’t think ahead like that; it’s science. I mean come on. What are we teaching our kids? Every time they get hurt feelings let’s run to mommy who’s going to call everyone within a 20 mile radius?

You’re going to make her look stupid twice getting all these people involved. That is the honest to god truth. I agree with the posters that the best thing to do is laugh it off and rise above. I’ve been on teams were the other girls went I. My bag and did things with my underwear—like that’s humiliating for a preteen/teenage girl!! I didn’t cry to my mom and I sure as sh*t didn’t get the school involved. I laughed about it even though I was really embarrassed. I wasn’t excluded after that. I was still friends with the girls. I am still friends with them 20+ years later.[/quote]

What OP described is not a prank.  A prank is, I don't know, filling someone's shoes with silly string or covering cotton balls in chocolate and offering people a candy.  This was intentional cruelty, mean-girl behavior, Queen bees using their power to socially ostracize one member and get the others to go along.  I'm sure the others were just cowards who didn't speak up because they are just glad *they* are not the target of the queen bees. Yet.

You should indeed contact the athlete, OP.  Not in a boo hoo, woe is me way, but factual and explain the other kids tricked your DD.  You can let the athlete decide how mean the "prank" was or not.
You should tell the coach.
Coach should discipline queen bees.
other team members need a good talking to about not being cowards, speaking up when someone is being victimized by bullies.

What you've done there PP is just like what a bully would do - minimize bad behavior and tell the victim they are overreacting.

Read the thread I saw recently on DCUM about mean things that happened to you as a kid that you still remember, that still hurt.  This definitely ranks with some of the worst of the stories.[/quote]

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