Reply to What is your deepest family secret?

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[quote=Anonymous]12:03, there is a lot of shame going on in your post, and there should not be. Many people have perverted fantasies, which is actually HEALTHY, because it allows them to live out certain things without ever acting on them.

I experienced similar things to what you posted and realized I never thought to disclose them on this thread even though I already posted about other stuff! Research has shown that sexuality exists and is normal in children of all ages (read a sexual development book). I think many young children experience and act out all kinds of things, and as long as they do not hurt themselves or others, it is all part of harmless experimentation. The key point here that you have to teach your children is RESPECT for others, and the prohibition to hurt anyone.

As for your last point, I would absolutely tell my child of her origins, especially if others know (see feelings of betrayal earlier on this thread). The secret is bound to leak out! I would explain that your husband loves her, cares for her, and is thus her "real" father. No need to justify yourself or apologize for anything. Just let her know she is as beloved as all her siblings.

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