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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Looking for a little perspective. My brother is getting married 6 weeks after my wife’s due date (toward the end of this year.) We also have a son who will be almost 2 at the time. The wedding is a 3 hour flight away.  I am the best man in the wedding and so will be somewhat busy during the weekend of the wedding with various wedding party obligations. My wife is already saying that she doesn’t think she will be up for traveling 6 weeks after giving birth. She keeps bringing up how she will still be recovering ([b]she had a natural birth with our first and recovered very quickly)[/b], she had low milk supply so we supplemented with formula the first time around, probably will do the same with this coming LO, so she is also complaining about having to pack bottles and formula and sterilizing them and pumping to try to get her supply up. I get that it’ll be a lot of work to travel with a 2 year old and a 6 week old. However, I am a little frustrated because people do it all the time. And if it were her sibling getting married I know she would suck it up and go 100%.

Another thing she has mentioned is that she feels like she won’t have much help with the kids at the wedding because I am the best man. I told her I will make sure I am able to help her a lot, and especially my parents will help her but she wasn’t happy about that and in fact doesn’t want their help. She doesn’t like them and that is no secret. So I believe that she is using these excuses to get out of letting my parents see their grandchildren. Either way, I was curious what you all think. Is it reasonable for her to be saying months in advance that she probably won’t be attending my brothers wedding? (Which means my kids won’t get to attend it either? My brother has also invited my son to be the ring bearer but my wife wants me to tell him no. Again, I believe this is to limit my parents access more than anything.)[/quote]

This quote caught my eye because it makes me so mad for your wife.  You didn't give birth so how do you really know how quickly she bounced back?  Second, I doubt your two year old and six week old baby will really care that they missed their uncle's wedding.  If you must, take the two year old and go to the wedding.  Leave you wife at home so she can recover in peace and bond with your new child.[/quote]

I just love it how he speaks for his wife about how easy the whole thing was for his wife, when meanwhile she had huge problems with at least one part of being a new mom - feeding. And now he expects her to try to nurse effectively in a strange place among strange people when she couldn't do it easily the first time, while also pumping and also dealing with formula. Nursing, pumping and dealing with formula for a new baby (while trying to recover from birth too) is a full time job even without a toddler to feed and bathe and entertain. Even in your own home where everything is set up just the way you need it. I really feel bad for her. Maybe having OP out of the house for some time will actually help her relax a lot more - I can't imagine that someone so demanding is easy to live with.

And nothing about OP's post made it seem that he's even remotely concerned about whether the two year old would care to be there or not or what is best for him. It's all just about the OP, what he wants, and what his parents want.[/quote]

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