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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - So, what's the verdict on maintenance sex?

My preference is to take the time to get her off. But, she'll sometimes offer a quickie. On the one hand, I'm not all that excited about sex she's not excited about. I don't want to reinforce any negativity she might have about sex.

On the other hand, creating a lot of expectation and pressure around her having an orgasm can be counterproductive. And, turning down quickies adds to the pattern of us getting out of the habit of having sex.

Anyway, she suggested one last night. I went with it. I thought it was pleasant, but it wasn't earth shaking for either of us. When I was done, I offered to keep going to get her there, but she said she didn't think it was in the cards.

So, are these more likely to reinforce negative feelings about sex for her or are these potentially building blocks to get our frequency up and hopefully lead to better quality as we get back in the habit of having sex?[/quote]

If my husband truly acknowledged that he has put too much on me for most of our marriage AND changed his ways for ever..  Not just for a week but permanently, it would go a long way in our sex life.  But if you are not willing to make amends and change the dynamic in your marriage, you are not going to see improvement in the bedroom.  Be the change.[/quote]

Sounds like you and your husband have a different dynamic than me and my wife. We've been pretty good to each other overall. I haven't wronged her any more than she's wronged me (and it's been pretty minimal either way). [/quote]

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