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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are 100% right that she can file for divorce. She will have cause to do so because the second he has sex with someone other than her without her agreement, he's CHEATING ON HER.

What the hell is wrong with you people? I never said that it was wonderful for the OP's wife to not have sex as often as he wants. I will point out again that according to him, the marriage isn't sexless. It doesn't have as much sex as he wants and he doesn't enjoy the sex that occurs for whatever reason, but the reality is that that is not what a sexless marriage is. Once a month and boring isn't sexless. It's just unsatisfying. I agree that it would be better if these two married adults would communicate with each other and try to meet each other's needs better than they are currently doing, but that doesn't mean that it's justified for the OP to go have an affair (your "open marriage") because he's not happy with what he's getting at home.

By that definition, anyone who is unhappy with their sex life for any reason could justify adultery by saying that they had declared the marriage open. It does not work that way, and I don't understand why you are so invested in claiming that it does.[/quote]

The problem seems to be you don't understand the full gravity of 1 partner unilaterally declaring a marriage sexless. That is EXACTLY the same thing as the other partner unilaterally deciding to seek sex elsewhere. There is absolutely zero difference, and it is no less justified for him to declare the marriage Open as for her to declare it Sexless. I agree, neither is being a good partner, and I have no idea why she wants to stay married to a man she doesn't want sex with. I don't understand why you are so invested in allowing only 1 spouse to make unilateral decisions about sex in the marriage. That is not a defensible position at all.[/quote]

There is PLENTY of difference between not having as much sex as your partner wants to have and having sex with someone other than your partner. If this marriage was actually sexless, I might be inclined to agree with you, but that's not what's happening here. Your entire premise is based on this marriage being sexless, which it's not. This man and his wife have sex once a month. The sex is, according to this man, not enjoyable for him and doesn't occur as often as he'd like. He wants better sex with his wife that happens more regularly than once a month. Those are understandable wants, and if I was the OP, I would want those things as well. They do not, however, equal a sexless marriage, just a marriage in which the OP is sexually frustrated. No matter how sexually frustrated he is, declaring that he intends to have sex with people other than her whether she agrees or not IS adultery, no matter how understandable you or I may find his desire to do so. Her unwillingness to have the kind of sex that he wants at the frequency that he wants, while you and I may find that to be a crappy way to treat the OP, is not the same as having an affair. In an affair, he is affirmatively putting his penis into another woman's body. During that act, he could father a child because as we all know, no birth control method is 100% effective. He would then be legally responsible for that child as well as the children he already has. He could also contract a sexually transmitted disease through this action, which he could then pass to his wife during their monthly bad sex. She would then need medical treatment as a consequence of his affirmative decision to have sex with someone else. None of that is true of what the OP's wife is doing, though I'm sure you'll be happy to list some very real consequences that the poor OP suffers as a result of his wife's unwillingness to have sex with him in the manner and frequency he prefers.[/quote]

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