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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP:

Just to chime in, you will find life is long. I've finished [b]raising my brood[/b], and if I had to go back in time, I would be less reactive to things like this. As long as you don't feel your MIL is deliberately trying to undermine you, let her be called Mama X (I didn't read the whole thread, but was her grandma called Mama X too? That makes a difference).

The other thing is -- it is hard to think of this right now -- this baby really is not just yours. It is a person who will have his/her own relationships. And you will be thankful for all the people who love your child and are part of his/her loving community. So let your MIL love your child and be called what she wants to be called.

Just my two cents,

[b]Older and wiser[/b][/quote]

Good advice.[/quote]

Bad advice.  Being a doormat is not good for anyone's relationship with anyone else.  Pettiness is bad, but not wanting someone else to be "Mama" to your child is hardly petty.  [/quote]

There is a difference between being a doormat and being kind to the person who birthed your spouse and is a blood relation to your children.  All the crazy DCUMers forget that in a few years they will be in the same position.  [/quote]

Once again: it's not kind to allow a person to do something that feels instinctively wrong and hurtful to you.  OP is saying that having another woman called "mama" by her child feels wrong and bad.  Although there are some cultural nuances, that's a feeling that a lot of other women share.  There is NOTHING kind about letting another person do something that is hurtful to you, regardless of whether they intended it to be hurtful.  Boundaries are healthy, not unkind.  [/quote]

NP. Exactly this--speaking up for yourself and setting reasonable boundaries is healthy and actually kind, because it gives the other person a chance to know where you are coming from, and to find new approaches and solutions with you, rather than just becoming an object of resentment.

Plus, to all the bolded above, give me a break. Anyone who calls family "my brood" and styles herself as "older and wiser" is ridiculous and wins zero points in any discussion with me. Blech.[/quote]

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