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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^^^ nobody goes to the store anymore for supplies.

Why are so many people saying 1 parent is better than 2 parents raising a child.

What planet are you on?[/quote]

Umm... exactly who has said that?  I've read posts from PPs saying both parents need to be engaged and available.  Some PPs have pointed out that having a SAHP enables that parent to not only be engaged and available all day, but also gets errands and chores out of the way so that when the WOHP gets home, s/he only has to sit down and relax with the kids.  See?  Both parents engaged and available.  No one is advocating that the WOHP work until all hours and never see their kids.  Having a SAHP allows *both* parents to focus on their kids in the evenings and on weekends.  This is not hard to understand.[/quote]

NP here. I think that poster didn't make her point very well, but I see her point. Trying to state it more clearly: If you are saying that OP can't have a good bond with her kids because she works very long hours, you cannot simultaneously claim that the WOHP who works very long hours in a SAH/WOH relationship has a good bond with his or her kids, because that WOHP also works long hours. That is logically inconsistent.

The point isn't is that the SAHP is available. That is beside the point. There have been posters here who claim that their WOHP has a fantastic bond with their kids while simultaneously working very long hours. The issue is the bond of the WOHP not the SAHP, and it's a question of the hours that WOHP works.

I actually don't agree with the underlying assumption: I think that bonding with kids can happen with parents who work long hours. I mean, I know families where one parent was away for months at a time who seem to have great relationships, so I think this hour-counting premise is a little silly. It seems like a bunch of privileged navel-gazing to me.  However, the people who are talking about how they have a very long working hour WOHP who is fantastically bonded to their kids while at the same time simultaneously criticizing OP's long working hours and claiming [i]she[/i] can't be bonded to her kids are being very inconsistent. No matter what the SAHP does at home, if you believe that time present with the children is the basis of a bond, then both OP and the long-working WOHP should fall into that category. [/quote]

Yes,  but you don't respond to the point the immediate PP made (as several others have).  Having one SAHP means the person who is working long hours does not need to also grocery shop, go the dry cleaner, fold the laundry, take the car or the oil change, unload the dishwasher, pay the bills, manage the investments etc.  The fact that SAHP gets that stuff done during the week (perhaps while the kids are in school GASP) means the partner working long hours can instead spend the time he or she would commit to those task spending with their kids.  [/quote]

PP above. I don't think that having tasks to do over the weekend means a parent can't bond with kids. Frankly the idea that a parent needs to have totally task-free hours in order to bond with a child seems very out of touch to me. Personally, I think kids should absolutely see their working parent doing tasks around the house, and should be participating in those chores themselves as they get older. I have many fond memories of running errands on the weekend with my dad and helping him with chores. Bonding doesn't mean just free time.

Your position only makes sense if you believe that children cannot bond with parents who are doing household work... which raises the question of how they bond with the SAHP who is doing that work during the week. I don't have much of an opinion on long hours or no long hours, as I stated, but I do think the idea that a child can't bond with a parent who is doing household tasks is ridiculous.

I think the point stands: you cannot simultaneously say OP doesn't have a good bond with her kids because of her long hours, and yet claim your WOHP spouse who works equally long hours has a good bond with your own children. It's completely inconsistent.[/quote]

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