Reply to Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sailor (a girl)[/quote]

You love your DH madly but he is a bit of a traditionalist and insisted you change your somewhat distinctive surname when you married. As luck would have it, his last name is "Smith" and you became one  of many Jennifer Smiths who populate the pages of Linked-In.  You tried using your surname as a middle name, but your physical therapy patients -- most of whom are senior citizens -- had difficulty with it.  Why wouldn't they as Jennifer Hammersmith Smith is a mouthful and a little confusing.  After a few years, you dropped your maiden name and became just another Jennifer Smith.

You discovered you were pregnant soon after banishing your maiden name and began to fret about a distinctive last name for your child.  As a traditionalist, your husband did not want to know the sex (or is it gender?) of the baby, so you had to come up with two distinctive names that would set Smith apart.

One day you were working out a rotor cuff problem for a nice older gentlemen who always had a story or two.  That day he spun a yarn about being lost at sea when he was 14 years old.  Of course, you recognized it as one of his imaginary yars,  but he repeatedly said "I wasn't meant to be a sailor," or sang the little ditty about "the sailor's life for me."  At any rate, that ditty became a little bit of an earworm, and when you were feeling nauseous and tired, you wold sign "the sailor's life for me."

At 34 weeks, your water broke while you were listening to your older patient spin yet another tall tale.  You were having bladder control issues and the baby pressed on your bladder, and you were humiliated to think that you had actually wet your pants.  The older gentlemen pointed out that he had six children and knew what it meant when a hugely pregnant woman wet herself.  "You are going to have your baby today, Mrs, Smith, and a sailor she will be, a sailor she will be."

The director of the center rushed you to the hospital where you were met by your husband.  After 15 hours of intense labor, they finally gave you an epidural. Not only did it relieve the pain, but it also made you a little loopy and you began to sing:  "A sailor she will be, wahoo, a sailor she will be."  Four hours later, your beautiful daughter was born, at 21 inches long, and a healthy 7 pounds, 4 ounces.  Your traditional husband -- having endured hours of your giddy singing looked at your and said: "A sailor she will be, my dear, a sailor she will be."

So that is how your daughter became Sailor Hammersmith Smith.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics