Reply to Guac and queso if you make over $450k

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.[/quote]

I don’t agree.  My parents didn’t put limits on stuff like this when I was a kid, but when I left their house and my food budget was $200/month, I figured it out.  
I mean, getting guac on my burrito didn’t make me stupid. I could still do simple math.  
[/quote]

It's not just about learning to budget. It's about learning how the world works.

I have kids in elementary, and[b] it's very easy to tell the difference between the kids whose parents are teaching them that stuff costs money and that money is not infinite, versus the ones whose parents just buy them whatever without any discussion or reference to money.[/b]

I've watched 9 year olds tease a kid for not having an X-box, for never having been to Disney, for having the wrong shoes. They do this because they literally think the only reason not to have that stuff is being so uncool you don't know you should get it. Because for them, that's the only obstacle -- knowing about stuff they want. Once they know, they just tell their parents and their parents buy it. So the concept that a kid might know what an Xbox is, and want an Xbox, but not have one because his parents can't afford one, doesn't even cross their minds.

And people who grow up with that mindset carry it into adulthood, even after they learn how money works. I'm in my 40s and I still encounter people who will look at you just totally baffled because you don't have something they have. I've learned this is actually a good way to vet how down to earth someone is -- mention something you would like but note that it's just not in your budget right now. The way people react to that tells you a lot about them. The people who are just totally confused or try to argue with you about it (that's my favorite, the people who will sit there and explain that of course you can afford something, despite not knowing anything about your finances) are just clueless, and you have to be careful around them.[/quote]

How could you possibly know this? Unless you’re in the house with the parents observing how they’re raising their kids, you only ASSUME you know based on observations of the kids’ behavior. It’s a common assumption made by folks who don’t understand that kids are people.[/quote]

DP here. I disagree. I can definitely see a difference between kids who have been raised to know the value of a dollar vs those whose parents just buy them whatever they want. I've been out with those kids and things they will order or ask for when I am entertaining them is sometimes a bit shocking. I have had kids whine when I say, "no, we are doing it this way". I have actually had this discussion with my kids about being conscientious to not take advantage when another parent is hosting. There are definitely kids who do not understand that concept and having observed how the parents are with the kids, I can see it comes directly from the parenting. [/quote]

You have missed the point. You have NO IDEA how any individual kid is being raised. You are making ASSUMPTIONS. Have you ever seen siblings who have drastically different financial values and outcomes? Of course you have! Do you really believe they were raised differently from one another?

Re-read your bolded statement. It’s actually possible to buy your kids whatever you want AND raise them to know the value of money, and more importantly, how to be polite and well-mannered. No need to skimp on the guac.[/quote]

Actually, I have first hand knowledge of how these kids are being raised because I’ve gone out with them with their parents  :wink: multiple times. Have even vacationed with them. And have seen it over and over again. So in my personal experience, it’s a direct result of the parents never saying no. YMMV.

As far as siblings go, I’ve only seen this behavior with only children. Not to say all only children are like this but the kids who I am talking about are. [/quote]

Welp, you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, they say. Maybe time to look in the mirror if these are the types of people you choose to spend your time with…[/quote]

If the worst thing that I can say about the people who I hang out with is that they spoil their children more than I do, I'm just fine with who I see in the mirror.[/quote]

So you agree it’s not a real problem. Just judging your “friends” because you’re bored, I guess![/quote]

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