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[quote=Anonymous]There doesn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason to it, and it’s really not worth worrying about.

I have what I thought was a “cool” child. Not because I need or want her to be; she just is. My 9yo daughter is good looking, socially savvy, good sense of style, involved in activities with her friends, good at academics, gets invited to a lot of things, has lots of friends who seem similar. She’s mature and good at understanding group dynamics. I’m very connected with the other moms and involved with the school community. So the pieces are all there.

She is invited to a sleepover birthday party this weekend with her group of friends, and expressed disappointment that her close friend can’t come because she was already invited to a different sleepover.

She says the other sleepover is with “the cool group”. I asked who “the cool group” is, and she names kids who I would have never guessed are considered cool. I know some of the girls (as well as their parents) from various sports teams, activities etc. over the years. These are girls who are not particularly socially savvy at all and less mature than my daughter’s friends. None have parents who are very connected to the school/other parents, so it’s not that, either. They’re not particularly good looking or fashionable or charismatic or any of the things you would think make a kid seem “cool”. I do think a few of them are mean and exclude others, so maybe that makes their group seem exclusive and therefore cool. I know of at least two in that group who have constant and unmonitored access to YouTube and who knows what else. Maybe that has something to do with it too. It’s not really my concern. I was just surprised.

I want my kids to be happy and have at least one or two good friends and not feel like an outcast. Other than that, there’s no use sweating whether or not they are “cool”.[/quote]

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