Reply to Anyone regret becoming a stay at home mom?

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[quote=Anonymous]I've always worked. I thought I wanted to be a SAHM, but when I had my first, we really couldn't afford it so I stayed on, though I did cut back to 4 days a week which helped tremendously, just psychologically. It also helped that we had family close by and awesome daycare at work.

Over the years, my DH's earning power has greatly increased to the point where now I could easily stay home. But my earning power has also increased, and I have grown to love my career (though won't pretend I love my job every day). We also have a lot of flexibility and kids are in school now so not sure what I would do if I quit. Relax, sure, but I think I personally would get bored as DH as we have a pretty good system of team work and outsourcing.

In terms of my friends and family, it's a mixed bag. We are in our early 40s and the divorces are starting to roll in now. Two mom friends worked, but both decided to scale up after the divorce to up their earnings (one was mommy-tracked and is much happier out of her marriage and into a much better paying and much more interesting job).

I have a friend who was a SAHM and now does PT freelance, but her schedule is a mess. If you are a PT consultant, you work fewer hours but your schedule is more strict - she doesn't have the flexibility I do. I know they are also having some money problems due to her DH's erratic career path (lay off, big cut in salary when company got acquired, etc.).

My mom was a SAHM who worked PT for years, and is now working PT. It worked for her for years, though now I'm not so sure. She really doesn't feel like she can make decisions and defers to my dad. I know she is unhappy where he chose to retire, and his retirement due to some bad investments didn't go as far as they liked. They are okay but she does feel like she has to work PT now and it's hard for her some days, particularly in the winter. Then there's the family friend who I ran into last time I was in my hometown, working the make up counter at a department store. Her DH turned into an alcoholic after his very lucrative business failed and they had no insurance, she got breast cancer and is now living in an apartment and just thankful to have a job.

I've seen enough bad stories to be thankful for my career. I think SAH can work for some but it's a gamble for some too. Even if your marriage doesn't fail or your DH doesn't get laid off, etc., it seems a lot of women would like a career path after years at home.[/quote]

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