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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]The ONLY way this has worked out for my friends and me with a similar situation is to have a schedule set in stone - so he cooks dinner on Mondays an Thursdays and does bedtime on Tuesdays and Fridays. You do the opposite days - no trying to "share" duties and hope he helps - he's either on or he's off - and I am either on or off. Eventually, you can soften a bit, but for now - he needs to be 100% responsible so it happens. [/quote]

This is basically what we do and much better advice than the self-abnegation and self-delusion preached above.  Thankfully my DH isn't apparently entirely a "non-functional bump on a log," but left to his own devices, he would probably gradually turn into one.  We generally alternate: stagger schedules, switch off bath-time, dinner clean up, bedtime for our two kids.  The more routine and established the schedule the better--things get done with little or no friction.  In fact, things are always worse on weekends and in period of transition when things are unclear and he reverts to the (his) mean.[/quote]

That's a good approach for some couples. I think the points raised in this thread are for couples who are fairly alienated and entrenched with one or both seething resentment. I think the thread proposes an interesting way to diffuse the energy and really pull back from the toxic situation. Anyway, these are the kinds of folks who are going to come to schedule without a lot of acrimony. [/quote]

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