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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know that I really agree with this line of thinking. Maybe my husband is more..malleable than many men? I wouldn't have thought so but my take on this kind of thing is that bottom line, I don't take crap. I deserve to be treated a certain way and I am going to get that treatment.

When we were first married, he did that thing many men do where they go to the grocery store and came back with a bunch of junk. Unh uh, sorry, your ass is going back to the store to get the real food we need. And yes I will ridicule you because you deserve to be. Thirty years old and you can't scan the cupboards to see what we need? Fucking no. He leaves his dirty dishes by the sink for me to clean or whiskers in the sink? I'm not your fucking maid, this is unacceptable, clean them now before you go to work. You thought I was going to do all the night wakings and take care of the kid by myself while you "baby sit" some times? No fucking way, I will divorce your ass over this. You're going to tell me you'll do some house project so we don't have to waste money on hiring it out but then not do it? Yeah I will inform you how childish and irresponsible that type of behavior. I'm not going to play nice about bullshit like that. Point blank, if you want to be with me, you will treat me the way I want.

We've been married over ten years, together for 15, and I've basically turned him into the husband and father I wanted for myself and my children. Don't take crap, ladies. You're better than that.[/quote]

You sound angry and unhappy.[/quote]

I get angry on behalf of other women when I think about how overburdened we are compared to men when it comes to societal expectations. Cook, clean, keep house, be the perfect mother at all times, stay in tip top shape, lose the baby weight lickety split, put out every night, oh and work 50 hours a week in a demanding career. It is bullshit. We *should* expect our husbands to meet us halfway and, more importantly, *hold* them to that expectation. [/quote]

This! PLUS all of the mental gymnastics: keeping track of where everyone is during the day and where they have to go, scheduling and attending play dates because you have to help your children cultivate friendships, dealing with the school and keeping track of all those details, keeping track of medical and dental appointments, even keeping tracks of seasonal changes to make the necessary adjustment to the children's wardrobes. Then add in all the default parenting. It's exhausting.[/quote]

Please. Take some personal responsibility, and "drop the rope." Societal pressure (or pressure from MIL or DH or your dad or sister or whomever) can only affect you *if you let it.* I know society wants me to lose 20 pounds. Guess what? I love cheese and carbs, and I'm going to be the size that makes me feel healthy and happy and occasionally indulged. I know my husband wants me to bake more. Guess what? I make some banana bread when I feel like it, and the rest of the time, pass the store-bought cookies. Pinterest-obbsessed moms are all over my Facebook feed, with their Bento box lunches. So what? Sometimes I cut my DD's sandwich in the shape of a star if I feel like it; the rest of the time, she's got a pretty ordinary lunch. DCUM says I should be initiating sex every weekend. If I'm in the mood, great. If not, fine.

You can objectively look at the "mental gymnastics" arena, and decide what apparatus you are going to climb on, and which ones you are going to skip. [/quote]

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