Reply to New boyfriend, has a child he never sees.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Guy perspective here: Mother runs off to another state and takes his child with her. He has no control over this, but he does the right thing and pays child support. Mother establishes new life and child is in stable situation. He doesn't want to interfere with that.

I can see the logic in that, especially from a guy who hasn't raised a child yet. Once you do (as most of us here have), it seems unfathomable, but I totally could understand that logic before I had children. It's difficult for men to bond with a baby in the first year anyway (I know from experience), so he may not have had much opportunity to develop a bond with the baby before his girlfriend moved her away.[/quote]

But once he's in his thirties and the kid is older than an infant, he *knows* he should see her. Even if he still doesn't feel a connection, he knows he has to at leafy work on making a connection with his DD, because she needs it.[/quote]

You all seem to have some incredibly romantic vision of children, teenagers, young adults reuniting with their biological mothers or fathers miles away, years later. 
Sounds like a big PITA to me, for both the kid and the biological contributor.

Most adoptees rue the day they get that email, letter or visitor stating they are their biological parent, make some time for me.  Some make it work, most do not.  Life is very busy, both sides have to want it, but if you are not wanted somewhere, you make the best of it elsewhere. [/quote]

The daughter is 11. Pretty sure she would like to at least try having a dad in her life--do you even have kids? Also, what 11-yr-old is "too busy" for this.[/quote]

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