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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Yes, there was some trickle truthing. When I declared my intention to retrieve the messages, he was more candid about what i would find. including the fact that DH tried to end the "friendship" with Jen several weeks ago, but she was so hurt and pleaded so I guess he acquiesced.  (So DH was ok with hurting my feelings so spare Jen's?) He says they met up for a walk at least once. They met up for beers on the nights when DH would go out with his buddies.  He admitted he was attracted to her but maintains there was no physical relationships. He has been deleting the messages from months.

we have our first appointment with the counselor today. I know DH will be contrite and emotional. he feels like shit. but I want to make sure i get some time to talk and heal, too. DH sobbing just feels indulgent.

My therapist encouraged me to think about the message that I most want to convey in this session... still thinking on that. [/quote]
I'm so sorry OP. I would not believe one word about them NOT being physical. First of all, a single woman is pleading for a guy to not end the "friendship", second- he admits physical attraction to her, third- all of the in person meet ups (that I presume you had no idea about), fourth- deleting messages for months, fifth- he's already lied by acts of omission and misleading "truths". I'm sorry but there's no way I'd believe him that they didn't have sex....[/quote]

Yes it's quite obvious to me.

OP you need to check up on him if he says he is meeting his buddies or working late etc.  Apparently he was having an affair with this woman. He will tell you anything at this point. Stop talking about it with him, let him think the heat is off.  Find out yourself, either have him followed, gps, or whatever it takes to find out the truth. [/quote]

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