Reply to Wife nearly died. Angry with underwhelming response from her family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]As for my in laws, my mother in law and father in law will be visiting next week. I don't really know what to expect except that I drew a line that they needed to stay at a hotel. I can't handle guests right now with the amount of people coming in and out for therapies, the new evening nanny, and the kids. It's too much. They have been asking questions and seem to think because my wife [b]can text and "looks amazing," she's fine. She isn't, but I can't with stupid people who don't want to see reality. I am bracing myself for the visit, but truthfully I don't know how they could piss me off more. 
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 As for my wife's brothers, I am sort of done. My wife isn't and she, like other posters suggested, isn't in the "write them off" camp. She sort of views it as a desire to not lose her family of origin on top of everything. I am not pushing things. I have enough to deal with it. [b]My sister in laws have been strangely silent, but I don't care. They apparently decided that since I couldn't do Christmas presents for their kids, they didn't have to for mine. [/b]I didn't expect that. I am finishing shopping today for the kids and going to wrap gifts tonight after they go to bed. My wife really wants to make Christmas happen (it's her big holiday so I am trying to carry the torch). [/quote]

OP I am glad your wife is feeling better. I had similar unfeeling relatives when I had a serious illness. I also "looked OK" I know you are angry now and you have a right to be. Spend as little time as possible with them. You don't have to draw a bright line right now (although I know you would love to slap them ...) You will probably never forget that they have a major flaw in their characters, but after your wife gets fully recovered she can decide how much she wants to see or interact with them. For me it was the last straw when my family was so indifferent. I did not carry hate for them -- too much of a burden, did not refuse to speak with them, just moved them into a category of "not such important people to me." It really is a burden to have a fight with family members, but that does not mean you have to put up with their craziness right now.
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