Reply to In laws lifestyle 'hobby' vis a vis our children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]
Sure, fine. That is true. To me, they've taken something I've loved, told me I didn't really "do" it, and are now using it to exclude me, when it would be one of the **very few things***, other than sitting down to a meal, that all of us could do together. Do you see? But I've realized that I am completely naive, they would never want to do it out of a shared love, but more to teach a social status and techniques from back in the day, that are no longer relevant. Secret handshakes if you will.

Could I get over it, yes. But their whole approach is soooo off-putting. Its like walking into a business meeting and the other person says, "Who the hell are you?!" and proceeds only to talk about themselves and never even get to the goals of the meeting.

At one time, I thought there would be some connection over a shared love of the activity EVEN IF the way I participated wasn't fancy enough for them...[b]Its not like its soccer! [/b]I am struck by the fact they've taken something we could have had in common, and something that could have been a meaningful bridge and shared activity with children, and made it into this.

So it turns me off so much that we simply will not be part of this. It would be a stretch for us financially, and our feeling is the money is best spent elsewhere. I don't see my children as deriving ANY benefit from this activity, other than a chance to spend time with their grandparents. There are plenty of other activities they can do together, and I can't think of one other one that I wouldn't be fully supportive of. [/quote]

Heaven forbid!  Look, at bottom this is pretty simple.  You don't like these people.  They don't seem to like you.  Your husband doesn't want the kids to do the activity, and you don't want them to either, so that's that.  They'll have to form a relationship with their grandparents through other activities, as you said, and that's fine.  But you need to stop obsessing about your in laws and their behavior, it isn't healthy.

Outside of this particular activity, we get along just fine. We spend plenty of time with them. I am not obsessing about their behavior, was simply trying to answer some of the questions that were asked. FWIW.

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