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[quote=Anonymous]Just swap husbands and all should be well.

Except in a couple of years you'll be in the same place again.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He wants sex the same way each time, and he wants it less frequently than I do.  It's too much work to make me orgasm.  He's gained 40 pounds since we got married.  I do 90% of everything and he "helps" me with the kids, house, finances, etc. instead of being an equal partner. [b]He's a beta, not an alpha.[/b][/quote]

Can you elaborate on that last point?  The rest of it seems to be easily fixed, but the last item indicates that there is more to it.   [/quote]

He's not a leader. He's happy for anyone else to do the planning and the work. He doesn't initiate any kind of physical contact, sexual or otherwise. It's hard to be consistently attracted to a man who doesn't take the initiative and is not high energy and is complacent at work. His love language is spending time together, but that's not mine. I like a guy who is assertive and has a plan for life.[/quote]'

Yes!  This exactly![/quote]

My DH is definitely an alpha, but he puts all of his time and energy into his work and his plans for bettering himself that I'm an afterthought. I'm part of the machine that enables his plan to be enacted, but he doesn't put any attention into me. He also doesn't initiate any physical contact. So the grass isn't always greener. In the end, we're in exactly the same place. 
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