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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP it looks like you want to deny a young person access to something that brings her joy in order to protect your children from "catching" Christianity.

You say you need your home to be a Jewish Home. But what you're really saying is that you prefer to meet some self-imposed standard of purity than to make this girl feel equal and welcome.

If you stick with your guns, you are privileging blind devotion to norms and practices over the moral and community values that are supposed to be the point of a religious upbringing. You're showing your younger children that Judaism is about exclusion and that this matters more than generosity.

You're also showing your husband where he stands with you- and it's in a corner. [/quote]

Judaism does seem to be about exclusion, at least based on a lot of what has been posted here. What exactly is it about Christianity that could possibly be "contagious"?  It must be exhausting to practice a religion that is so focused on keeping itself intact. I keep waiting for someone to point out that no, Judaism IS about more than banning a Christmas tree from the house, guarding against assimilation, etc.  anyone?[/quote]

I am the poster you quoted.  I was raised Orthodox but left the religion entirely.

Judaism is not about exclusion, any more than Christianity is about pointing out that non-Christians aren't saved.  Like a kitchen knife, every religion can be used in a productive and nurturing manner or as a weapon.

I was raised to be very paranoid that Christians wanted to assimilate all Jews, that this was a bad thing, and that preserving the boundaries between the Tribe and the outside world was of paramount importance.  This became so important to the people around me that they dedicated far more energy to it than to loving one's neighbor (all neighbors, not only Jewish ones), treating each other with unconditional love, and the many other useful lessons that a healthy religious practice offers.  I'm sure there are Christians, Muslims, and Hindus who do the same thing and it's a shame.

OP doesn't sound like she wants to be one of these people but it seems to me that she is letting the paranoid, purist mentality take precedence over the more important value: that when you have a chance to help someone feel happy, loved, and included-- particularly a family member-- that is a gift in itself.  A Christmas tree isn't going to harm anyone, but putting another person last-- visibly, and intentionally-- will hurt.  If Judaism is, for you, about values and living a more meaningful life, then take the opportunity to honor all forms of spirituality.

The Jews began as a desert people who had to welcome everyone, which is necessary for survival in the desert.  Imagine your home as an oasis for this 18-year-old who at the moment has no mother and nowhere to be but with you.  Now think of your own kids: would you want them to see themselves and you as generous, open-minded, and welcoming people or as purists who fear that this symbol of happiness and home will soil their culturally-spotless home? 
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