Reply to I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I didn't take the time to read through all of the responses, but I totally get and relate to what OP is saying.  I was a lot like the woman OP is describing.  In my 20s I wanted a serious relationship and wanted to get married eventually, but I had very low self esteem and slept with guys way too quickly.  I racked up a number of partners (15 lifetime total) and got two STDs (HPV and HSV2).  When I got HSV2 I was absolutely devastated.  I felt like my life was over and I would be alone forever.  It was a very dark, lonely time.  I almost got fired from my job, I was so depressed.  I really, really wanted to find someone, get married and have a family, so I forced myself to keep dating, even though I was so nervous about the prospect of having to tell someone my status.  Having HSV2 (and HPV) REALLY made slow down.  I stopped getting into bed with guys quickly, and started getting to know them before having physical contact beyond kissing.  As soon as I started doing that, the guys I dated started to really develop feelings for me.  Ultimately, two relationships didn't work out when I disclosed my HSV2 status (prior to sexual contact, of course), but the third time I told, he said he wasn't going anywhere.  We have been together for 5 wonderful years, married for 3, and we now have a 14 month old son.

I often look back at my 20s with deep regret.  The pain of those days is still with me, I don't know if it will ever go away completely.  Ultimately I think I struggled with depression and anxiety and I wish I got the help I needed so I would have had the strength to make better choices.  I am very happy now, but I had to go through some dark times alone to get here. I often think that I am glad I don't have a daughter because I wouldn't want her to go through the same things as me.  If I ever do, I hope I can show her enough unconditional love and support to help her avoid making the same mistakes I made.  I[/quote]

Thank you for your post. Glad to hear that you found love. Try to remember the words you wrote here when DH gets you angry, and he will at some point. Teach your son how to carry himself. 
I consider some of the men who were with you, including the one who gave you HSV to be immoral, and I mean that. Deep down, some of them probably knew that a casual relationship was not really what you wanted. Some probably strung you along just for sex, immoral. So as much as we are saying, no judging, I can judge people who take advantage of people in bad situations, give them diseases and move on with no conscience. 
I have a coworker who is a successful partner making tons of money. He dates serially. Gives each woman a nice vacation, a new girl every 4-6 months. Makes them feel like he is serious. Buy he is not. They seem to get excited over the prospect of marrying this successful man, and he knows that. Why does he not just say that he has no plans to marry, but just to screw them? I suppose that would ruin the fun. Sociopath to me. 
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