Reply to I wish women would demand more in a relationship before getting intimate

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[quote=Anonymous]I didn't take the time to read through all of the responses, but I totally get and relate to what OP is saying.  I was a lot like the woman OP is describing.  In my 20s I wanted a serious relationship and wanted to get married eventually, but I had very low self esteem and slept with guys way too quickly.  I racked up a number of partners (15 lifetime total) and got two STDs (HPV and HSV2).  When I got HSV2 I was absolutely devastated.  I felt like my life was over and I would be alone forever.  It was a very dark, lonely time.  I almost got fired from my job, I was so depressed.  I really, really wanted to find someone, get married and have a family, so I forced myself to keep dating, even though I was so nervous about the prospect of having to tell someone my status.  Having HSV2 (and HPV) REALLY made slow down.  I stopped getting into bed with guys quickly, and started getting to know them before having physical contact beyond kissing.  As soon as I started doing that, the guys I dated started to really develop feelings for me.  Ultimately, two relationships didn't work out when I disclosed my HSV2 status (prior to sexual contact, of course), but the third time I told, he said he wasn't going anywhere.  We have been together for 5 wonderful years, married for 3, and we now have a 14 month old son.

I often look back at my 20s with deep regret.  The pain of those days is still with me, I don't know if it will ever go away completely.  Ultimately I think I struggled with depression and anxiety and I wish I got the help I needed so I would have had the strength to make better choices.  I am very happy now, but I had to go through some dark times alone to get here. I often think that I am glad I don't have a daughter because I wouldn't want her to go through the same things as me.  If I ever do, I hope I can show her enough unconditional love and support to help her avoid making the same mistakes I made.  I[/quote]

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