Reply to Feminism, femininity, and marriage

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[quote=Anonymous]I think that most people do not think particularly critically about their lives. We start receiving cultural messages pretty much as soon as we're born. They come from a lot of places. Our families of origin, our cultural communities, our peer groups, mass media: they all influence what we view as normal.

I wonder if the PP who is happy for her husband to be head of the household actively chose that structure, and how that choice came about. Did the couple have a conversation? What does "head of the household" mean to this family? I honestly don't think we have a head of the household in my family. My husband makes slightly more than I do. I do more cooking than he does. He does more laundry than I do. We flip coins about the trash and the litterbox. We jointly agree on things like where to live, where to vacation, whether to make a large purchase and other things like that. We parent equally. There is no "when your dad gets home" being used as a threat to a child who won't do her homework. My family of origin was like this too. I don't think that they would say that anyone was "head of the household" either. So I wonder what "head of the household" means in the PP's family? Does she get to object to her husband's decisions? What if he wants to buy a car she doesn't like? What if he wants to buy a house she doesn't like? What if he wants to have another baby and she doesn't want to? How are conflicts resolved in a system where one person is clearly designated as the boss of another person?[/quote]

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