Reply to How far should we "Lean In?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I actually think the brief, postwar period in which one parent (usually the man) worked and the other (usually the woman) stayed home and took care of kids really is the ideal. Except I would want to update it so that men would be just as likely to stay home as women would.

My spouse and I both work and both try to be there for the kids (doctor visits, camp and ballet sign ups, cooking meals, trips to the playground, etc.). Let me tell you, it's exhausting. Specialization would be better. But few can afford to live on one salary in the modern economy.[/quote]

I don't.  Domestic violence was rampant when the majority of women stayed home.  Lots of women stayed in bad marriages because they had no way to financially support themself.  I'm all for extended maternity leave, but I don't think it's a good idea for the majority of women to check out of the workplace.  [/quote]

It's such a relief women can do what's best for themselves and their families and not have to worry whether or not anyone "thinks it's a good idea".  Guess what?  Domestic violence can occur in any type of partnership - with SAHMs or WOHMs.  Bad marriages and divorce are rampant even now, regardless of work status.  I find it incredibly amusing when some women insist that WOH is the only way to protect oneself from divorce, or a cheating spouse, or domestic violence.  Bad things can happen in any type of partnership or work situation.  At some point, you have to find a partner you trust and do what works best for your own family.  Honestly, the best thing I ever did was "check out of the workplace" - or "lean out," if you will.  [/quote]
You can be unhappy in any kind of marriage, but it's a lot better to be unhappy and financially independent than unhappy and financially dependent. [/quote]
Wrong. As I see it, you actually can't be unhappy in a *good* marriage. Maybe focus a little on improving your relationship.[/quote]
Sweet of you to worry about the state of my relationship.  It doesn't change the basic truth of what I said. Better to be unhappy and rich than unhappy and poor. [/quote]

I'm wondering where the "unhappy" tangent came from.  Why are you assuming unhappiness from the get-go?  Plenty of happy marriages out there; you seem to be focused on the bad.  Maybe personal experience?[/quote]
Exactly.[/quote]

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