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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All women with a good heart are beautiful.  End of story.[/quote]

But not pretty.  And you know it. You  know exactly what we're talking about here. Nobody looks at pictures of women on "People of Wal-Mart" and thinks "She has a good heart, so she's beautiful."[/quote]
So what -- it's about changing the perception of beauty, and it starts with how you see yourself.
For years, you did not see many black women considered as the hallmark of beauty, does not mean they weren't it was they were not being appreciated and being ignored. Change the paradigm.[/quote]

But I guess my point and the point of others on here is that why should we have to be considered beautiful to be considered worthwhile? It's condescending that people keep saying, well change the beauty paradigm or every woman is beautiful or "try harder." Believe me, all the trying in the world is just going to bring me up to average. I'm not saying I don't try - I like shopping, I wear makeup, I get my hair cut at a decent salon. But even with all that? I get to "plain Jane" at best.

If someone were short would you say, "Change the paradigm of height! Try harder and you can be tall!"[/quote]
I am short
And I feel good about it is who I am
What do folks not get about what I am saying
[b]Why consider yourselves ugly when you can see yourself as beautiful ??[/b]
I am talking about SEING YOURSEKF AND CONSIDERING YOURSELF BEAUTIFUL.
I  not talki g about trying harder to meet someone else's standard. I am talking about stop labeling yourselves as ugly .
Negative self talk is damaging to one's spirit.
Yes, there are superficial things one can do, buying clothes they like, a shade of lipstick they like or just the way your skin looks and feels when freshly washed. But it all begins with how we view ourselves and I cannot fathom wanting to hang onto the label of ugly, no matter how others may view me.
And I cannot imagine hanging onto that label by claiming some sort of bogus self acceptance. When you truly love tbe essence of everything you are , you would not dare let the word ugly in the equation.
And it is that kind of self acceptance and appreciation that changes the paradigm.
[/quote]

I think what I'm saying is being ugly or plain or really, really average is just another thing. It's not a negative thing if I don't make it a negative thing. I'm not beautiful and it's just a simple fact. It's like saying that I was born in June, that I have a college degree, that my favorite color is green. It's a neutral fact. It's not damaging to my spirit or whatever, that's a bunch of baloney. Now I can appreciate that others on here are really hurting and my heart goes out to them. But I'm not hurting much over my looks. Yeah, it sucks being ignored in stores and it sucks that I've never once had a guy buy me a drink, that I've never had the experience of going out and leaving my wallet at home knowing that random guys would buy me drinks all night. But I'm married so that doesn't even matter at this point, really. It also sucks that I'm not independently wealthy and that I don't have unlimited vacation time. It's just another fact of life. We have to take the good with the bad.[/quote]

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