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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are these discretionary activities? My sex drive is in the toilet these days, and I know a whole lot of that is because I've gained weight and gotten out of shape, so I don't feel as physically comfortable, and I feel way too body conscious to enjoy sex. If my husband took things off my plate, I'd probably throw that time and energy into losing weight and exercising more, and so he'd probably see me spending a lot of that newfound time running and looking up new recipes. That might feel to him like the same kind of discretionary activities you're talking about and he might not see the connection, but there is one. He's helping me so I can put more energy into the things that I hope will help me increase my sex drive.[/quote]

Although I'm not the PP to whom you responded, I know exactly what he meant by [u]discretionary activities[/u]. Basically this is any form of exhausting/fatiguing/non-relaxing domestic work that is above/beyond a reasonable level. For example, either childcare or cleaning house are essentially infinite workloads [u]if you allow this[/u]. The PP was stating that many women simply have no OFF switch and that even if there were an army of workers helping with every task, she would continue to find more work or follow behind and do the job better/differently.

Stop getting out of shape! Eat right, and exercise! Whatever it is that keeps you from this, [u]do less of that[/u]. Of course, he should be doing his fair share and help take things off your plate, and I'm not making any excuses for him if he's not doing a reasonable share of a reasonable workload. But is your plate actually the right size in the first place? Are you taking on more than is actually needed and/or reasonable? Are the opportunities to "outsource" some tasks? These are all perfectly valid ways for you to not be completely drained, to take care of yourself (lose weight) and to have proper energy for a proper sexlife.[/quote]

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