Reply to Wedding Invitation - "No Boxed Gifts"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What the hell would you people do with yourselves if no one gave you anything to stand in judgement over them for? Miserable witches. If you feel the need to turn your precious nose up at the wording in the invitation, and make it about you and your sensibilities, just don't fuckibg attend. Some of us care more about people than etiquette, and are happy to give the couple whatever they need or want, within reason. You want money for your honeymoon? Sure. For a house down payment? Sure. You don't want boxed gifts? Great. No skin off my back. Let's not sit here and pretend that I wasn't going to get you a gift, and since I'm getting one, I'm happy it will be something you can use. Find some real problems!!![/quote]

I agree with this.  Also, don't pretend you know what the young couple needs.  When DH and I married many moons ago, we actually had relatives try to tell us what we needed.  Mind you, we had each been on our own, individually for many years; so we already had two of everything - or at least my "good stuff".  We made a registry if they wanted to use it, but of course, they could not do that.  [I actually chose stuff for the registry at a store that I frequent, but knew that in no way it would fly with DH's family, so I adapted, and went to their stores for registry purposes.  (Yes, this took an inordinate amount of time, but I was young, and actually believed at the time I could make everyone happy.  HA- good one!)] Which still didn't fly, apparently.

Really, the bride and groom can't win with some kinds of people.  They have an awful lot going on in one day, after so much careful and deliberate planning.  Remember whose day it is, and either go with a smile on your face, or stay home.  I'm sure the bride and groom really don't care either way, since most of the guests invited are probably friends of the parents, anyway.

OP, it seems like this invitation is for a wedding whose cultural norm is to give money.  Who cares?  No one (you or them) wants to lug a gift around, anyway.  Throw the envelope in the box, and be done with it.  [/quote]

There's nothing wrong with giving money as a wedding gift.  Or if guests ask what you want and to reply that you'd prefer money -- I see nothing wrong with that.  But specifically stating on your wedding invite that you will not accept specific gifts is tacky.  What if you got a wedding invite that said "We don't want any picture frames" or "No towels" or "No gift certificates wanted" or "do not give us anything unless it's money."  It's telling people what they cannot give that is tacky because that is not what presents are about.

I had guests at my wedding who never gave me a physical gift.  They traveled from a long way to get to my wedding and to me that was gift enough.  I had other people give me things that probably didn't cost more than $10 or $15.  Who cares? I was just glad they came.  When you dictate what people cannot give you, it is no longer a gift.

Bottom line - only invite people to your wedding that you want to share the day with you and that don't care what present (if any) that they give.

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