Reply to DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship

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Reply to "DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds to me like your daughter (and her boyfriend!) are both mature and handling this responsibly.

And I understand the !!!! feelings (as much as I can, with my children not yet in high school), but children do grow up and start doing grown-up things, for good or bad. And if they're going to have sex, then I'd rather it happen comfortably and safely in my child's own home, instead of uncomfortably and unsafely who knows where. [/quote]

I agree with this. For me I think my reaction would come down to the state of the relationship between DD and Boyfriend. If it's a stable, healthy and respectful relationship -- I would talk to DD about the potential consequences (all of them, including what if BC doesn't work, what if your relationship doesn't last, what if your relationship does last are you going to regret being that serious that young, societal perceptions, etc) and then I would just make sure that the couple is being legal and safe. I would impress on DD that she and her BF are making an adult decision so they need to handle it maturely and they owe her stepfather and BF's parents the respect of not sneaking around. Someone -- either DD or I -- would be telling DH/her stepfather, because I do not keep secrets from my partner. Secrets about personal lives invite drama and ruin relationships. I would make it clear that while I would keep my silence on the issue to everyone other than my DH I would also never lie to or intentionally mislead BF's parents.

I would tell DD my personal feelings, that I would prefer she not be having sex as a minor, but I wouldn't try to force her to stop having sex (that would not work) or compel her make me a promise she had no intention of keeping about how she would stop having sex (bad idea for our relationship). I DEFINITELY would not force the couple to break up, or purposefully engineer a conflict with the boy's parents with the intention that that would force the two to break up. [/quote]

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