Reply to SIL just sent out the most obnoxious "coming to visit the new family" e-mail

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Reply to "SIL just sent out the most obnoxious "coming to visit the new family" e-mail"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the email is a bit much. That said, I think there is a widespread (and unreasonable) expectation that new moms will be up and at em in no time, barring anything life-threatening.

This thread shows how little compassion we have for ourselves and others. Women really do need - and deserve - time to heal, rest, recover, bond with their baby, get the hang of feeding etc. The problem is not her email, the problem is that OP (and others) approach the situation from a perspective of "suck it up" rather than "how can I help?"

Selfish, short-sighted, nasty behavior reigns again.[/quote]

Uh, no. I do not expect new mothers to be up and at-em in no time. I am delighted to help in any way. However, I don't expect to get a [b]pre-emptive email[/b] that says 1) I can't bring well children over to see the new baby (all of my kids know only to touch a baby on the foot and only if specifically allowed) 2) I can't hold the baby at all, even if healthy 3) I am expected to run the vacuum cleaner or do some dishes 4) I am expressly forbidden from bringing over some homemade cookies or a bottle of champagne.

You see, this person is making their home completely unwelcoming in every way, which means that even close family and friends are going to stay far, far away. Which means that mom and dad really won't get a break or some much-needed interaction with well-meaning and loving family.

I get it, it's hard, the parents are nervous, etc, etc. But you can go completely off the deep end trying to control everything and wind up completely alone. I'd send a gift and stay completely the hell away from these crazy new parents. What's going to suck later is that she's going to complain bitterly about how nobody helped her.[/quote]

perfect don't visit. i'd rather not have visitors. leave my family alone and don't bring your kids over n touch my new born's feet. don't touch my new born. [/quote]

Gladly! Have a nice life in splendid isolation! Please post back here in a couple months and let us know how it's going![/quote]

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