Reply to If DH is a law firm partner, must I be the default parent?

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Reply to "If DH is a law firm partner, must I be the default parent?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]15:11 again -- I wrote that your DH can absolutely participate equally in shopping for your kids' presents, but I want to add that you can also help him out with a present for your MIL. How hard is it to frame an adorable picture of your kids and order up a wine-and-cheese-of-the-month club membership?  [b]The real issue here is why you two aren't on the same team.  That's the whole point of marriage, isn't it?[/b]     [/quote]

Agree re: the point of marriage, but OP's DH doesn't want to work as a team.  He wants to do what he wants to do, and have OP work around that.

Right?[/quote]

[b]that depends on the money issue, quite frankly[/b].  yes, it may be tough to be the default parent (especially if you work), but I think that if one person is shouldering most of the financial burden, that sucks too.  it is very stressful to be the primary/sole source of income.  I say this as the primary breadwinner AND default parent in my house, who decided long ago that it was better for me to take over the gift giving, social organizing, etc because it was more important to have decent relationships with his family than to try to force him to do something he didn't care about/want to do/wasn't good at.  Sometimes doing it yourself is just easier.   [/quote]

Not really.  It's a simple question:  Does DH want what he wants and for OP to work around that?  Or does he want to reconsider their marriage and family setup from the basis of no assumptions?

I know (from personal experience) that it is stressful to be the primary (or sole) source of income.  But that's not the point of the above post.  The point is, does the DH want to remove all assumptions and work as a team, or not?[/quote]

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