Reply to If DH is a law firm partner, must I be the default parent?

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Reply to "If DH is a law firm partner, must I be the default parent?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]15:11 again -- I wrote that your DH can absolutely participate equally in shopping for your kids' presents, but I want to add that you can also help him out with a present for your MIL. How hard is it to frame an adorable picture of your kids and order up a wine-and-cheese-of-the-month club membership?  [b]The real issue here is why you two aren't on the same team.  That's the whole point of marriage, isn't it?[/b]     [/quote]

Agree re: the point of marriage, but OP's DH doesn't want to work as a team.  He wants to do what he wants to do, and have OP work around that.

Right?[/quote]

The thing is, we don't [/b]know[b] that.  There are 2 sides to every story -- especially in a marriage.  And, in any case, somebody has to be the grown-up here.  I'm wondering what would happen if OP said to DH, "Let's pick a night when we can talk about Christmas presents after DC is tucked into bed.  We'll have a bottle of wine, fire up that internet thang, whip out the plastic and go to town.  Whadda ya say, honey?"  [/quote]

Speaking for myself, that approach would just add to the difficulty of the chore, not help. I'd rather just do something myself than have to cajole DH (and deal with his inevitable whining/resistance) and then sit with him to force him to actually do it.  No thank you.  The only thing that works for me is to figure out the things that DH will reliably do on his own with no prompting from me, and assign him those things.  [/quote]

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