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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

But not annoying for anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas to go to a mall with their child and have to tell them, "Sshhh...we will talk about it later" or explain to them why they are only being surrounded by cultural symbols that have nothing to do with their own traditions but we can't discuss that because we might offend those who already have all of the power in the situation.  Yeah that's not annoying at all.[/quote]

Silly again.  Of course say loud and proud that your family doesn't celebrate Christmas.  You don't have to say Santa isn't real in front of other kids in order to do that.  But you know that.  You're just being obtuse. [/quote]

In my experience, when an adult asks a child "Are you looking forward to Santa?" or "What's Santa going to bring you?", and the child doesn't celebrate Christmas, there is really no way for the child to respond without the response sounding like a rebuke. And a rebuke is inappropriate, because it's from a child to an adult, and because the adult meant well. So, how do you think that the child should respond?[/quote]

I agree that the question should be avoided unless the adult knows the family does Santa/celebrates Christmas, but I think there are appropriate responses from a child that can save the situation if the awkward question is inappropriately asked by an adult who isn't thinking. We do celebrate Christmas and do Santa, so I've never been in this precise situation but if we did not, based on how we've handled similar sorts of situations here is how I think I would coach my children to respond:

If the child's family celebrates any holiday in the winter, I would simply tell them ahead of time that many people ask about Christmas or Santa as a proxy for asking about the holidays in general, so I think I would direct them to simply respond "Yes ma'am/sir, I'm really looking forward to the holidays thank you. Is your family (naming specific names/relationships instead if any are known) excited too? If child was uncomfortable with the asking adult possibly getting the impression that the child's family does Christmas/Santa, I think an older child, coached correctly, could safely respond "Yes ma'am/sir, I'm really looking forward to the holidays. Our family celebrates __(winter holiday)__ and my favorite part is ___(appropriate cultural tradition associated with winter holiday)___. What is your family most looking forward to about the holidays?"

Similar answers for the second question. If the child's family celebrates any winter holiday where gifts are given, ignore the focus on Santa and simply respond with something like "I'm hoping I might receive ____(thing)___ or maybe ___(smaller thing)___. I can't wait to see my ___(family relationship)'s face when I give him/her the ___(thing)____ he/she has been asking for. What does __(young relative of asker if any known)____ most want for Christmas?"

If the child's family doesn't do gifts at their winter holiday, or doesn't celebrate a winter holiday, a correctly coached older child may be able to safely answer something like, "Our family usually saves gifts for birthdays (or whenever is accurate), and I'm... ____(rest of answer from above)___."

The way I'm teaching my kids to deal with potentially awkward questions from well-meaning authority figures is to just redirect the focus to find an honest answer they can give that relates to the question as much as possible while changing the emphasis to something they're comfortable with. Diplomacy at its finest, kid style. They're improving at it, slowly. [/quote]

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