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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Flame away.  I am wondering what parents who participate (willing to drive, host, etc.) do about parents not willing to participate.  It is really obvious to a point of humor, at this point.

To elaborate, DC tends to want a playdate, or does activities with, certain children.  Half of the parents are amazing, and are more than willing to do their share of driving, hosting, etc.  The other half may as well be radio silence; letting anyone who is nice enough be the doormat.  It gets old, quick.

I am well aware you teach people how to treat you, blah, blah, blah......If anyone has any *constructive plans* to put into action, I would appreciate it.  Before anyone assumes so, there are no exigent circumstances, excuses or reasons other than sheer laziness, unfortunately.  The problem is, my child asks for their child, and the other parents know this and take full advantage.  Let's just say, I would choose other friends, if it were me.

As an example, four DC, including mine, signed up for an activity.  I won't say which one, because it is not relevant.  The issue at hand is that two of the same parents step forward each time, and two refuse.  If one of the two participating parents drop out (they might, they are tired and just prefer to drive themselves), it would be all on the one parent.  Who BTW, would be more than willing, given their nature.  But the fact that the parents that participate are willing to, should not excuse the two parents that are not willing to participate.  Make sense?

I am tempted to also just drive ourselves.  The parents who refuse to participate, again, know that DC wants to see their friends, however.  Do I have to play hard ball?  WWYD?

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I didn't read all the responses. My bottom line is do what you are happy to do and assume the other parents will figure it out.  I can't tell if from your post the parents signed up for an activity assuming you would be the carpool for their child or you offer to drive and they always take advantage of it without ever offering in return.

If they assume you will be their child's carpool all you need to do is have some errand either before or after and just bring your own child.  That will force them to figure out what to do.  If it is playdate hosting, simply pick neutral ground so no one has to host.  Suggest meeting up at the park, or the movies, or meeting up for an event with the kids.  If I've invited someone over for a drop off play date and my child never seems to get a similar invite then we meet out.  For me, hosting a drop off play date takes a lot of time and effort, getting the kids to clean, making sure the house is clean, not getting to do my own errands, checking in to make sure the kids are okay and not overly reliant on electronics etc.  If I found hosting effortless and felt like I was still getting weekend downtime while hosting a 2-3 hour play date, then I probably wouldn't mind if the person didn't reciprocate.  Since it is such an effort, I know I would only be happy to do so one or two times before picking an option that requires less work on me.

Forgot to mention if you are trying to get the person to join a carpool so you all take turns driving there could be lots of reasons why they don't join.  They may not be joiners by nature, they may be nervous about liability (my mom has always warned me about driving other kids in my car), they may not feel like they can fit many kids in the car ..who knows.

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