Reply to If you had an abortion you really didn't want to have

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Today my friend who had an abortion says she wished her "support" person had made some effort to talk her out of it. There were other options.[/quote]

She and a lot of people. Her voice won't drown out the extreme voices on either side. These women suffer silently and when she talks about it, it will be taboo. Her pro life friends will drown her with crap about Jesus and her pro choice friends will trivialize her feelings. Those with good professional experience like some OBs can understand. The pain is immense and she will never stop thinking about her child, her little friend, who only she knew. 
The extreme views make it hard for any logic to come into this. In the end there are women who are being hurt by a system that refuses to be intellectually honest. There IS post abortion stress, no different than PTSD. And for some women, that is not worth it, they would have rather struggled with the child than live through that. And these are NOT religious people, they are just humans with normal emotions. [/quote]

OP here.  This is the category my friend falls into. She has always considered herself pro-choice but didn't think she could ever have an abortion personally.  Then she got pregnant at a very inopportune time in an exceedingly bad relationship and health situation, and she made the choice that would spare the child a lifetime of difficulty. It was heartbreaking for her, and I doubt she will ever forget about the little life that was inside of her.  There was another young woman in the waiting room who was also there to have an abortion.  She started chatting with me while my friend was in the back.  She was perfectly upbeat and it was pretty clear that this was just like any other doctor's appointment for her, she was just bummed that her boyfriend couldn't get off work so they could go to Five Guys after. There seems to be a huge range of feelings women have about this procedure.  It doesn't do anyone any favors to diminish or hyperbolize the degree to which something like this can weigh on a person.[/quote]

Why didn't she consider adoption?[/quote]

Yeah. I am the 12:02 poster.  Why DIDN'T she consider adoption?  Why don't MORE women in this situation consider adoption?   I am an adoptive mom of one, waiting on #2, and wonder this CONSTANTLY!!!!  [/quote]

[u][b]She didn't consider adoption because [/b][u[/u]]there is a huge difference between abandoning a live infant you have carried and loved for 9 months and ending a 5 week pregnancy.  She has always wanted children and continues to want children, but the circumstances made it impossible for her to give that child the stable life it deserved. Just because she accidentally got pregnant doesn't mean she has to carry a baby to term and give it away to someone like you.[/quote]

It would be a sacrifice indeed, but it is a shame that in fact she didn't even consider it.  How sad.  Such a momentous decision.  [/quote]

Sorry, how do you know she didn't consider it? It's not possible to get an abortion in this country without learning about the option of adoption. It's not possible to go through sixth grade without learning about adoption.[/quote]

Well, she said right above (read the previous post): "She didn't consider adoption because. . . "  [/quote]

Obviously she considered it but it wasn't an option for her personally she because she would never be able to give up a live infant that she had carried to term.  I think most people would have a much harder time doing this.[/quote]

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