Reply to Husband wants to move for job, I don't

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband wants to move for job, I don't"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been looking at maps and researching neighborhoods and the areas you suggest like Pacific Palisades or Santa Monica sound perfect for us - except we could not afford a 3-4 bedroom house in those places.  Houses in those areas seem to be well over 1 million on the low end.  We do not have that kind of money.  Rents are way too high as well.  Lets say we could go up to $750k (stretching it a bit) - there just doesn't seem to be much in that range in those areas.  I've even been looking in the Valley which seems family friendly but hot and much further from Westwood.  Even there, you can't get much for that kind of money.  And my husband's commute would be horrendous, right? We would also need good public schools.  El Segundo looks great - still expensive.

My husband's company does cover moving - they give 30k to do this.  I do feel like a big bonus to help cover a down payment on a house (or help with rent) would absolutely have to happen to make this doable.

I'm trying to be open.  Especially with this freezing cold weather, California doesn't seem terrible right now.  But, we would have to have a good house, good schools, decent commute to make this happen.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What's new OP?[/quote]
OP here.  I decided to try to be as open-minded as possible and at least look at how our life would be out there.  Ive agreed to Go out there and look at neighborhoods and see if I could see us there.  I've since gotten more information about where the job will really be and where we would really need to live.  The job is not San Diego - it's in West LA (specifically Westwood).  This is about 2.5 hours from his parents.  I've been looking at where we could live and it looks like we could not afford to live anywhere close to his work.  He would have an hour plus commute to and from anywhere we could afford.  LA is expensive!  I suggested we talk to a realtor out there to see what realistically our money could buy and what kind of commute we are talking about for my husband.  This is where we are for those wondering.  I still do not like the idea of leaving the rest of my family but I realize I have to keep an open mind for my husband and our marriage.[/quote]

Hi, OP,

I'm that SoCal 2-year transplant who has posted before.  I have just moved from that area and know it pretty well.  If you want, later on, we can go through it--there's probably a way to get each other's contact info through Jeff or something.

As an aside, when moving here, I had a big fold out map with streets on it, and it helped me immeasurably because it was all laid out in one area so I could see the gestalt.  (vs looking just on google maps etc).  I was totally clueless re the DC area, and we had to move quickly, so I found something helpful--I mapped the "Whole Foods" markets because I figured that would help me find a neighborhood similar to where I had. (I had never heard of Harris Teeter or Safeway or Giant…)  But it could be Costco or Target…whatever works.

Part of Westwood is really about UCLA and its students, so you probably don't want to live in those sections.  But towns around Westwood--and in other parts of Westwood, you have lovely, lovely areas to live.

Pacific Palisades is hidden away between Santa Monica and Malibu.  It is basically a town for families, and worth checking out.  No one really knows it's there because it's not exciting for tourists.  Originally I found Pacific Palisades when exploring around and noticed that in this area there was a bunch of bikes or tire swings every few houses or so, and so I realized I was in a family community.  They call Pacific Palisades "Mayberry" and it's got a wonderful 4th of July race and parade; you can't go wrong there if you can swing it.

There are parts of Santa Monica that are great for families, and depending on where you are, the rent won't be as high.  Brentwood is adjacent to Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, and Westwood (with the 405 in between); very nice, as well.  North of UCLA is Bel Air, wow nice but really $$$ and you won't be meeting your neighbors like you would in the other towns; don't think there are sidewalks even.

Back to the coast--a lot of people like Venice, which is south of Santa Monica, but you have to do your research on the areas in there; there is some gang activity.  South of that, past Marina del Rey (which is nice but more skyscraper-type)  is a tiny, adorable area called Playa del Rey.  And south of that is El Segundo--much more affordable and really nice in areas.  I used to go there to visit a friend, who has a shop on Richmond St. (btw also the location shot for the series called "Revenge"; lol they cover her sign whenever shooting) and think, wow, this is really nice and down to earth.

When I originally moved my DH out to Los Angeles (at the time, no kids), I chose Santa Monica because I wanted him to be happy and if in LA, I thought it would be good for him to experience the good things about LA--one of which is the sunsets over the water.  That helped him a lot.  The mountains in Santa Monica/Pacific Palisades etc. are set back behind the flats of the town, but the houses there offer great views of the ocean.  Even without an ocean view--we didn't have one--you end up seeing enough sunsets as you make your way around to feel like you are in a special place.

If you are hell bent on living south of LAX (good idea to note where LAX and the 105 freeway is in relation to what you are looking at--Playa del Rey El Segundo are south, btw) there's Manhattan Beach, Hermosa and Redondo Beach. [/quote][/quote]

Ok.  Look, I'm assuming you would rent first.  Live there a while and you will know the neighborhoods that make sense for you.

Check a neighborhood called "The Highlands" or "The Palisades Highlands" in Pacific Palisades.  It adds a little to the commute, and is a bit away from the ocean, and those two facts makes it more affordable than the rest of "the Palisades" even though it buts up against awesome wilderness.  Look on a map, and then if you are on realtor.com you'll be able to see if the house is in the Highlands or not.

If you've got a map, in Santa Monica, there are certain benchmarks.  Anything "North of Montana Ave." is the priciest.  Then second comes "North of Wilshire." Then "North of Santa Monica (Blvd.)"   And of course, as you go back away from the beach (east), it's less expensive--but not necessarily worse, because then you are closer to some town centers.  fyi re Santa Monica, it's its own city (not part of City of LA)--don't know if you'll need that info but just wanted you to know (because LA is not the best-run city.  But don't know if it will matter)

If, btw, you want crunchy/hippie/artsy/country but more land, look at Topanga.  It's too far for downtown LA but if your DH is working in Westwood it's doable.  It does get hot there, but unlike the Valley the air is still fresh, and you can get some land for the kids to run around in.  It's a very unique community; ha! visit there and visit Manhattan Beach and you will see how different these areas are from each other!

There are areas that could work for you.  But I do recommend renting first.  In Santa Monica, the market is taken up by something called "Westside Rentals" and they are online now--check that out!
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics