Reply to I want my husband to reimburse me for half the income I lost during maternity leave

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Reply to "I want my husband to reimburse me for half the income I lost during maternity leave"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Thanks for your thoughts/opinions.  Some of them were very thought-provoking and helped me clarify in my own mind why this was weighing on me.

I think the PP was right when she suggested that this is the beginning of opting-out which for me could lay the foundation for later resentment – both in terms of financial loss and career opportunity cost. I do think my reaction to the unfair financial burden of maternity leave was an extension of my concern over the logical extension of this path and a desired to head it off from the get-go. (Or what I thought was the get-go.)  The other PP who pointed out that this frustration may have come in part from the fact that my (career/financial/family) hand was forced given my husband’s recent job change was very perceptive and that sparked some meaningful discussion in our house.  I also appreciated the PP who said that just because some women are ok with their contributions going unpaid, doesn’t mean we all have to be.

Maintaining a level of fairness/equality is obviously going to be a challenge and we’ll undoubtedly have to make course corrections along the way but it’s a goal to which I am grateful we are both committed – no matter how skewered we get on DCUM :) .   My husband and I agree that we may have misstepped here (with the timing of new jobs, not discussing maternity leave costs beforehand, having smaller shared accounts and larger individual accounts instead of the inverse) but I’m grateful we can talk about it honestly and do our best to make amends going forward. 
[/quote]

Really cool that you and your husband can talk about it, and he doesn't think you're "wrong" but rather is willing to do things differently (whatever may be) moving forward.  Sounds like a keeper to me.  [/quote]

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