Reply to Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Quincy Jones has low self esteem?[/quote]

NP here.  I don't know about low self-esteem.  However, in his book he did acknowledge that he despised Black women.  He despised his mother who had psychological issues and thus he always equated Black women to his mother.  So, there is definitely some self-hating going on there.  All his wives were white.

On a different note, I would not be upset if my handsome, talented, smart Black son bought a non-Black girl home.  Afterall, during my dating days, I dated and almost married outside my race and religion.  I would however be deeply disappointed and dismayed if my son decided to date "white only".  I understand that people have preferences, but when you systematically reject the very color that gave you life, wiped your arse and nose, nutured, loved and cared for you, I believe there is some serious issues going on.  You can call it what you want, but as a mother, I would have failed in not raising a son to a man who loved everything about who he is, including his sisters and moma.  My husband would have failed in helping his son recognize that beauty and strenght of Black women despite what Hollywood and magazines project.  My husband would have failed in inparting into his son the struggles and heartaches Black women have endured in this country since the beginning of this country and yet they still rise to ensure that their sons become men in hostile territory.

So, he can date and marry an Asian, White, Hispanic woman without judgment.  But, if he self-selects out during the dating cycle, he will hear about how he was raised to love himself and try to figure out why he hates that which is apart of himself.

I feel the same way for my daughter, but for some reason feel that my son should make more of an effort.

You can call me all the names you want, but if you don't get it, you just don't get it.  And, it is easy to make accusations sitting in your chair of privilege as a white woman.  As an unattactive, just-white, slightly obese white woman, you still sit in a chair of white privilege in these United States.   As a white man, well I don't think anyone would disagree that your chair of privilege is a throne.  [/quote]

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