Reply to Ex won’t make food our daughter will eat

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound like you have created a drama queen monster.  [/quote]

Mommy dearest gets up to cook breakfast every day for her 16 year old princcess, don't you know. [/quote]

OPs kid is only 16, that’s still really young. My daughter is almost 18, and I cook her whatever meals she want’s daily. So does her father. I’d be extremely disappointed if he wasn’t cooking what she wanted for her.[/quote]

:D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  good one.[/quote]

Do all these people have only children or are they making whole individual meals for each kid?[/quote]

I have an only child and I think these people are nuts.[/quote]

I find this thread very sad. Teens are still children and deserved to be taken care of. My sons are 17 and 18 years old, and I do make dinner for them every night, and pack their lunches for them everyday. [/quote]

And I find parents like you just as sad. I'm very glad I didn't have a parent like you. I would have found it insulting to be treated like a baby when I was practically an adult. [/quote]
They don’t find it insulting to be “treated like a baby” because that’s not what’s happening. Someone who loves them wants to make sure they’re well-fed and cared for, and does it out of affection. Most people can recognize the difference between being infantilized and having a mother perform a thoughtful act of care. Making someone a meal isn't taking away their independence. They’re teenagers who live at home, I don’t see why I shouldn’t help them out.
[/quote]

You're thinking like an adult who already has the skills of self care, not like someone who is in the process of developing those skills. Being denied the chance to develop and exercise those skills is precisely infantilizing. It's possible (I hope not) that you've so successfully infantilized them that they don't realize what you're doing. Hopefully, they're just playing along with your game, but what you're emphatically NOT doing is helping them. It may feel like an act of love, but it's actually profoundly selfish. [/quote]

I'm going to add that I'm sure this is hard to hear, but you have a chance to hear it and become a better parent. If you choose not to do that, it's probably because you love your vision of yourself as a "helper" more than you love your kids. A lot of moms are like that, but they don't have to be.[/quote]

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